"Update" NYC

The Bachelor

I’ve never seen a full episode of the television show, but I understand the premise. A guy is, in theory, searching for love from all these available women. They go on many dates and in the end, he will choose one special woman and they will live happily ever after. I would assume in this show that it might get hard for the bachelor to select just one woman since he has so many options. Is having so many options helpful or is it pushing us further away from what we’re looking for?

Last entry I wrote about having, FWB’s aka Friends With Benefits. Ever since that last entry, I went from having no men to not having enough hours in the day to schedule them all. In the beginning of this experiment, before I even met anyone for anything, I had to weed out the crazy guys that were responding to my profile. Once I got through that process, it was time to select my bachelors. I decided to go with just three bachelors since I felt anymore would be gluttony.
With that being said, it was time for me to figure out how to juggle the bachelors, work, friends and everything else in between.

Bachelor #1:

I had met this Bachelor a few times at random parties and he always wanted to go out on a date, but I wasn’t sure that I liked him enough to go on dates with but also wasn’t completely turned off by him either. So, when I ran into him two weeks ago at a bar, I sent him a text message and I explained that I wasn’t open to dating but open to this, Friends with Benefits thing. He agreed and then began the annoying part of scheduling to see each other in a hectic city like New York. We finally agreed on two Sunday’s ago. I was coming back from my friend, Feather’s, country house in Pennsylvania and that would be a perfect way to end the weekend.

I met Bachelor #1 at Rise bar for one drink before we realized we both didn’t want to be there for it was too crowded for a Sunday afternoon. We walked a few feet and went into this cute wine bar and sat right in front of the window facing Ninth Avenue. I wasn’t nervous about being seen with him but just didn’t want anyone I knew walking by but I agreed to sit there. We barely ordered our wine when someone I knew walked by and started talking with me while Bachelor #1 sat there. I made the conversation quick and the guy walked away. It was back to my bachelor who was trying to make this meeting last longer than I wanted to. He wanted to talk and talk and after the wine, I found myself being more aggressive than I had been in awhile. When the bill arrived, he wanted to get something to eat but I was just buzzed enough that I suggested we go back to his place. He smiled and agreed.

On the walk to his apartment, he wanted to put his arm around me but that was too romantic for me, so I sort of motioned my body away from his. Once we were inside his apartment, things began to heat up quickly. It was nice and just what I was looking for. However, Bachelor #1 had some issues in the bedroom. He was excited but couldn’t make it to the finish line. I was trying to be patient and even compassionate, but he confessed that he was nervous because he’d been thinking about us in bed for a long time and now that it was finally happening, he psyched himself out. As I was getting dressed, he wanted to cuddle and that, again, was too romantic for me. I told him that I needed to get home for it was technically a school night for me. Not sure if I will see him again, I know that yesterday he was texting and wanting a redo. I declined.

So far, playing this Bachelor game wasn’t looking so good for me.

Bachelor #2:

This bachelor is someone that I had been messaging for only about a week, but his schedule was just as bad as mine. Not to mention he just moved to the city only but three weeks ago. He was completely opposite from Bachelor #1. This guy is forty-nine years old and from what he told me, is that he works for the government.

He doesn’t know the city that well and I discovered that he only lives around the corner from my apartment, so I suggested we go to this wine bar, Bar Veloce. Last Thursday after my yoga class, I got ready and met Bachelor #2. It was still very warm in the city for it being October, so I wore shorts.

We arrived at the same time and sat right in the front. I was wondering why each time I’m going on these meetings that I’m being sat in front of the window as if I’m being put on display. Thankfully, no one I knew walked by for this meeting.
The wine was ordered, and when I finally looked at him, I realized he was taller than I remembered him telling me. He paid me a ton of compliments right away and before the wine was poured, so I felt like it wasn’t just the wine doing the talking. By the time we finished our first glass, I learned a lot about him.

He confessed that he divorced his wife about four years ago. They both met on some government trip in Africa. During their time in Africa they adopted two children and they have joint custody of the young kids. The ex-wife lives in Washington D.C. where he travels every other weekend to be with his kids. Suddenly, I realized that is also wasn’t turning into a Friends with Benefits meeting but rather a regular date.

I needed to turn this date back into what it was originally designed to be so when he said I had nice legs, I said, “You can touch them.” He did, and his hands never left my legs and we were back on course. He had to leave early the next morning for D.C. and so when we finished our bottle, he paid and asked to see me again. He wants to wait till after all his furniture is delivered because all he has right now is a suitcase of clothes and an air mattress…not really sexy but completely understandable.

So, we walked across the street and began making out like crazy. It was my second kiss from a different man in seventy-two hours.

Bachelor #3:

Friday night. I had taken the day off to spend the day running errands and getting ready for Bachelor #3. This guy was my third time meeting him. Over the past two weeks, we met a couple of times for drinks. He was the first Bachelor I met/interviewed, and we really hit it off. In my mind, this was going to be the meeting where we took things to the next level. I had hinted via text that I was wanting a very fun evening and he said that he liked the element of surprise. So…I had to let nature take its course and not to get too excited about what could happen.

He suggested we meet at the bar, Industry. I hadn’t been there in awhile, so I agreed to it. The plan was to meet for happy hour and “take it from there.” When I walked in, I didn’t see him right away, but I had passed him when I walked in. We hugged, and it was rather nice to see him. As we were walking to the bar, I told him that I would be buying the drinks since the last time we hung out, he took care of the drinks. On our way to the bar, I ran into someone that I knew from a previous job I had worked at. We chatted for a second and then when I went to the bar, the bartender was an ex of mine. Thankfully, he and I ended on very good terms and I got my drinks for damn near free.

Bachelor #3 and I began talking about our jobs and one round led to two and after the third, I was rather drunk. I don’t know why I got drunk so fast, but I did. Bachelor #3 suggested we get some food in me and so we walked down Ninth Avenue and went for burgers at, Five Napkin.

Over dinner, I don’t know what possessed us, but we ordered another drink and over dinner we just were having such a good time. I was laughing, eating fattening food and was not wanting the night to end. I was impressed when the bill came, and Bachelor #3 offered to pay and said I could get the next time. I did want a next time because he’s so much fun.

We walked up Ninth Avenue and he offered to walk me to my apartment even though his apartment is before mine. I told him that it wasn’t necessary. In hindsight, I should’ve brought him back to my place but instead he pulled me onto the side of fiftieth street and gave me such a kiss that my knees became week. He was the best kisser out of the other bachelors. We kept kissing before I realized that was drunk, making out and being tacky. It was fun but also not something I like to be doing in public.

By the time I got home, Bachelor #3 was saying how he had a nice time and also how good the make out session was. I wanted to invite him over, it was only a six block walk for him but decided to wait it out. I do know that if there is a next time, we are skipping the burgers and fries!

On Saturday night, my friends and I were walking to the movie theater and I was explaining my week to them. They were impressed at my activity, but I wasn’t. It’s just not who I am, and I’m not programmed to be doing all this juggling. Even when I’m in a, Friends with Benefits situation. Not sure how much longer I will be playing this role of the Bachelor but so far, it’s been fun and exhausting.

I guess that’s also what this Bachelor stuff is about. Balancing or rather juggling. I’m not an excellent juggler, hell, I can barely walk and text at the same time. There are people out there that can handle having multiple people in their lives but call me old fashioned…I’m just a one person at time kind of guy.

1 Comment

  1. Debbie

    No…my darling, you cannot walk and text at the same time, but then that is one of the many things I love about you lol…

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