"Update" NYC

When One Door Closes

It’s been said time and time again that when one door closes that another one will open. However, they never say what is to happen after that new door opens. We are to assume that because the first door was unsuccessful that the new door will be filled with all the success in the world and that we finally get what had been working so hard for. I can’t help but think about all of these “doors” and do we ever get what we wish for after the first door closes?

Last Monday started off like any other work week filled with meetings, deadlines and just trying to stay afloat without sinking. It was the next day that I was excited about; it was my twentieth anniversary of moving to New York. After work that day, I went to the gym, came home and took myself out for a glass of wine. Just me and the city and as I sat there I thought about all the doors that had opened for me from the minute I landed at JFK airport twenty years ago. I was a teenager with big dreams and a ton of luggage. Many years later, I still have those big dreams and while my luggage is now more a metaphor rather than a reality, I am grateful for every experience and every wonderful person that has come along my way over the years. Many doors were closed on me but there are still so many to open and look at what is on the other side of them.

On Wednesday morning, I was locking my apartment door when my keys fell to the ground and my favorite keychain of a palm tree broke. It was a silly keychain but I liked it a lot and when I got to work that morning, I ran into Mr. D. and told him about it. He smiled and said, “I have to go to California in a few hours for work and I will find you one. I know how much you love palm trees.” I told him that it wasn’t necessary but that it was a nice thought. I went back to my work and a few hours later, Mr. D. sent me a slew of text messages from the airport because he was delayed. The messages were sweet and while they are words I like to read; I couldn’t but think of how he’s said time and time again all of these words to me and it’s rare that I see the action to match.

After work that evening, I met a good girlfriend of mine for drinks and over those drinks she listened to my latest Mr. D. drama and in the end she really said what last week’s blog was all about and that, “it is what it is.” There are a ton of things I can do to change the situation but the biggest one is to leave this place of employment and never see him again. Until then, I will just need to do my best to move on. When I got home that night, I washed my face, tucked myself into bed and when I woke up the next morning there was a text from Mr. D. that was sent 1 a.m. my time and it was him saying he’s doing his best to find a keychain for me along with a picture of a palm tree from his hotel. I didn’t respond. Not because I didn’t want to but I wanted to see if his actions were going to match his words.

The next evening, I was able to meet with two amazing friends of mine that I never get to see but only a couple of months a year. We met in the East Village at, Bar Veloce, and over a bottle of wine we updated each other on our lives and it was amazing to see them grow and continue to be amazing people. After we said our goodbyes, I came home and was greeted by more text messages from Mr. D. including him saying he was looking forward to attending a concert with me on that upcoming Friday. He had been more attentive in this past week than he had been in a long time. I wasn’t sure if he was coming around or maybe it was the California beach air but I was excited about seeing a concert with him.

On Friday, I knew he had flown in late the previous night from California and therefore I didn’t see him at the office till mid-afternoon. Finally, around 2:30, he sends me an email saying that he can’t attend the concert because he doesn’t have a lot of energy in him and to please don’t be mad at him and my only response to him was, “I figured as much.” I knew that he was going to pull another one of his “I want to go but can’t commit and therefore I’m going to leave you hanging until the last minute and beg for your forgiveness.” He didn’t care for my response to him and pleaded with me not to upset and said “I love you” yet again. I didn’t respond and to this moment, I haven’t responded. The back and forth with him has always been exhausting but the fact that he thinks he can throw the “love” word around and expect me to live off the crumbs that he throws my way is the most insulting thing he can do. I’d rather him just be a jerk that he tends to be and leave the “love” word out of the conversation.

I sent a mass text to my friends and thankfully a few of them said they were in for the concert and that they’d see me later on that evening. We did a little pre-game at this bar called, Sidebar, and there was a drunken rich man that bought us several rounds of Patron shots and by the time we left to the concert venue, we were feeling rather good.

The band is called, We Are City of the Sun, and they were playing at Irving Plaza. My friends and I were well into the concert and after about an hour of watching the band, a mutual friend of ours saw us in the audience and came down to say hi since he was in the VIP section. Our friend asked us if we wanted to go upstairs with him to the VIP section. Naturally, we all said yes and proceeded to watch the concert from a much better view. Before I knew it, our friend was asking us if we all wanted to meet the band after the show. Naturally, we all said yes and after the concert we met the band members, told them what a great job they did and all proceeded to go to the Standard Hotel in the East Village for a nightcap. As we were at the bar drinking wine, I realized that when Mr. D. shut the door on going to the concert with me that he left another door to be opened and I had a much better experience with my friends and meeting the band!

I woke up on Saturday morning not tired or hungover but on the happier side of things. I must’ve still been on a high from having so much fun the previous night and I knew I had fun plans ahead of me that evening. I met my friend at his apartment for some much needed catching up before heading down to Chelsea for our first stop of the evening. We stopped at, Black Door, for a birthday party where we literally only stayed for one drink. Next stop was Barracuda where the crowd was insanely attractive so stayed for several drinks there before heading back to Hell’s Kitchen where we hit two more bars. Given all the travel and whatnot that evening, I still managed to call it an early night and didn’t feel in any drunken state.

Yesterday, I was running errands in my neighborhood when I noticed a man that looked awfully familiar to me. When he got closer in my sight, I realized it was a man that I went on a date with a year and a half ago when I was in Washington D. C. with friends of mine over Memorial Day weekend. He told me that he’s staying in the city for a month checking out the work situation because he’s a lawyer and thinking of switching firms. We did the polite banter and finally he asked me if he could take me to dinner or drinks sometime and I wasn’t sure what came over me but I said, “You can see me later on this evening if you’re schedule allows.” He smiled and said, “Sure. I still have your number in my phone.” I walked away and suddenly I was getting excited about a date. Something I hadn’t done in months.

I didn’t have much time to rush down to the East Village to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, to see a friend of mine do her comedy act before I needed to get back uptown in order to meet my date for dinner. My date was waiting for me by the time I got to the restaurant and thankfully we got a table right away. As we sat down and order our margaritas, I decided to dive right in and get to know this person all over again. As I began asking my millions of questions, he smiled and said, “Now I really remember you. You are the guy that talks a lot.” I laughed because he is right…I do talk a lot and I ask a lot of questions.

Over dinner I learned that he is still single, rented an apartment for a month near me and was having a nice time in the city so far. He apologized for being on the shy side and throughout the dinner confirmed that he was having a good time. After dinner, we went to a bar across the street for one more drink and I didn’t want to have a late night so when I said that I should get back home, he offered to walk me to my door. During the walk, he asked if he could see me again this week and I agreed. When we arrived in front of my building he gave me a big hug and we kissed for a few minutes before I went upstairs to my apartment. I went to bed that night feeling lighter than I had in a while.

Like anything in this life, we don’t know what the future holds; it’s as unpredictable as the weather. What we do know is that if we don’t take any chances than nothing will ever happen to us.

Alexander Graham Bell, the man who is credited for creating the telephone had an amazing quote and it’s what I leave you with this week:

““When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

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