"Update" NYC

Building a Mystery

In one form or another, we all have lived a dual life. This means, we present to the world what we want them to see perhaps, some might call that dual life a façade. Then, there is the life that we live behind closed doors; the life where we keep our dark secrets to ourselves, where we do and say things that we don’t want the world to see or even know that we do. It can be rather exhausting living this dual life but when you are done building the mystery and becoming true to yourself that is when the real life that we create can actually begin.

I didn’t write last week because there was a lot of work going on and I didn’t have a single moment to myself. Two Sundays ago, I ended up going to Brooklyn to see Mr. D. again. He was taking me to a comedy show and also introducing me to one of his friends. The evening was rather fun, the comedy was great and his friend was really nice. After the comedy show, Mr. D. and I talked about our upcoming trip to Boston. He was leaving the next day from our office and would be there till Wednesday. I was going to be arriving in Boston on Thursday and wasn’t sure exactly when we would be coming back. The original plan was for me to arrive on Thursday and see my best friend and her husband that Friday for dinner. I needed to see my best friend because she is due to have her baby at any minute and was having minor contractions earlier last week. I wanted to be there for support in case she needed me and it was also an excuse to be with Mr. D. and have a mini-get-away from the intense work week that we both were having.

Last Wednesday evening, the day before I was leaving for Boston; I met up with a very good friend of mine at, Rise Bar. There we talked about his current relationship status and how excited I was to be going to Boston. Mr. D. was texting me all that evening about work and how excited he was for the upcoming weekend. So, my gut instincts were telling me that this was going to be rather memorable weekend.

I woke up on Thursday morning bright and early for there was still so much to do before I was to be on the Bolt Bus at noon that would be taking me to Boston. I still hadn’t packed nor had I even booked a hotel room for that night. I quickly hurried through everything and managed to make the noon bus. Once I was on the bus, I realized that something was missing…my brand new coat!!! As the bus started to pull away, I ran up to the driver and made them stop so I could run back and get my coat that someone kindly hung up on a fence. Once I got back on the bus and into my seat, the bus started to clap and we were on our way. 3 ½ hours later, I arrived in Boston. On the bus ride, I managed to find a hotel that Mr. D. had been talking about for a long time. That evening, we would be staying at the Liberty Hotel; a hotel that is famous for it being a former prison and is now a luxury hotel. I checked in and sent Mr. D. a message that I had arrived. Within minutes he sent a message back that he was in a cab and on his way.

When he arrived at the room, I could tell that he was exhausted. I gave him a few minutes to decompress before we were to set out and do some sight-seeing. After he changed out of his work clothes, we grabbed our coats and we began to walk around the area of, Beacon Hill. Beacon Hill is the area that I would actually live in and told Mr. D. about it. He is also in love with the area, so as we walked around the area, he proceeded to tell me every single little bit of history from when buildings were built to lamp posts. We left that area and began to walk around the shops and when he saw the Boston Public Library, he knew my love of books and said we should go in. We walked around the gorgeous library and we realized that we were starting to lose track of time and needed to migrate our way back to the hotel. We had a quick bite to eat and were back at the hotel getting ready.

After an hour or so of getting ready, we went downstairs quickly to have a drink (I should say that I had a drink while he had a diet coke). We jumped on the T train (their version of the subway) and went to an area that I can’t remember but that is where we were going to go dancing at a club called, Middlesex. Once we were there, we ran into some old friends of his from when he used to live there and they were very welcoming toward me. We all danced for several hours and things close early in Boston, so before I knew it, it was time to leave. We got back to the hotel, got ready for bed and in bed we talked for another hour before both passing out.

Next morning, we both woke up feeling refreshed and energized. He went to the gym and I began to pack up our stuff for we needed to go to another hotel because I couldn’t afford the luxury hotel our entire stay. So, while he was at the gym, he came back and had gotten us coffees as well. While, he was in the shower, I was ironing our clothes for the day and thinking how nice this all was. He in the shower singing and me ironing while watching the Price is Right. We gathered our luggage, said goodbye to your nice room and left our luggage with the concierge while we went off to enjoy the day. I was rather excited because I love aquariums and that was where one of our first stops was going to be. He first took me to the area called, North End, which is their version of our Little Italy. We had an amazing Italian lunch and afterwards we walked to the Boston Aquarium.

At the aquarium, we had our pictures taken, walked around for hours and had a really amazing time. It actually felt like we were on a mini-vacation and we both loved every single minute of it. After the aquarium, we walked around the city for hours and along the way, I was surprised at how willing he was to pay for things, to make me laugh and provide me with many tidbits of the city that he took such pride in. Once we were done with the tour of the city, we went back to get our bags and got in a cab to take us to our next hotel, The Boston Park Plaza. We had stayed at this hotel over a year ago when we last visited together but it was under renovations then so it was nice to see what they have done with the place. When we got to our room, I noticed immediately that the bed wasn’t made and the bathroom hadn’t been cleaned. We called downstairs and while they were cleaning the room, we went down to the lobby to chat about our plans for the evening.

When our room was finally clean, he went to the gym and I decided to take that time to put on a facial mask, watch some television and relax. I thought I had all the time in the world to relax before needing to get ready for dinner with my best friend, her husband and Mr. D.’s best friend was also joining us. Turns out, I didn’t have any time at all because when Mr. D. walked in from the gym and saw that I wasn’t ready, he said, “I thought you were getting ready this whole time. We have fifteen minutes to get ready before my friend is picking us up.” I quickly got ready and in record time and we both were downstairs where his friend kindly picked us up in his car and drove us to dinner.

Dinner was in a town called, Brookline and it’s where my best friend and her husband live. As we all sat around the dinner table, it really warmed my heart to see everyone talking, laughing and getting along. Everyone at the table had met last year when Mr. D. and I had visited before, so there was no real reason for anyone to feel out of place. After dinner, Mr. D.’s best friend needed to go home to see his fiancé and so me, Mr. D., my best friend and her husband all went across the street for ice cream before we all retreated back to their house to watch a movie and relax. After the movie, it was well after midnight and it was time for Mr. D. and me to head back to our second hotel for this trip. We arrived back at our hotel and once again lay in bed and talked about the day until we both fell asleep.

It was Saturday, our last full day on this trip and the plan was to get ready, leave our luggage at the concierge and find another hotel room for that evening. After we settled on our next hotel, we jumped onto the T train and headed toward the Harvard area where we were, once again, meeting Mr. D.’s best friend. This time, the purpose of us meeting him was that he was going to be taking us to the country side to show us where he will be getting married in a few months. He wanted to show Mr. D. and I where this was all taking place and what Mr. D.’s role entails as best man for the wedding. The country side was gorgeous and during the visit, Mr. D.’s best friend asked if I was attending the wedding with Mr. D. I wasn’t sure how to answer since I wasn’t properly invited and wasn’t sure what the situation is. I kind of laughed it off and went on about the country side property. After the viewing, we drove to a town called, Concord, where we visited the Inn where all the wedding guests would be staying. All in all, it was a lovely afternoon so far.

When we got back into the city, we all attended an event for a restaurant opening that Mr. D’s best friends’ fiancé was hosting. Free food, free booze and free pinball games. There was a pinball contest and we all entered and it turns out…I won and had the highest score in the entire restaurant!!! We all had a good laugh because I don’t play pinball and I even surprised myself at my skills. After the event, we all said our goodbyes and they once again asked if I was attending their wedding. I, once again, laughed it off because it’s really not my place to force an invite upon Mr. D.

Mr. D. and I arrived at our third and last hotel of the trip located in the Cambridge area. We didn’t have any time to relax because he wanted to go dancing at this gay bar. I was surprised he wanted to go after the long day but instead, I showered and got dressed and he did the same.

Got in a cab and we were off to the House of Blues. Once inside, we danced for hours and hours. I couldn’t tell if Mr. D. was fully comfortable dancing among the shirtless men and he did make a few comments about the go-go boys that were dancing on top of the speakers. What I could tell that there was no mystery between him and me. Whatever it is that is going on between is certainly more than a friendship and not quite a full blown relationship. Mainly because what we are missing is the sex factor. Everything else is there. Trust. Humor. Attraction. Manners. Intimacy.  I’ve received a ton of advice from all over the world including my therapist about what this all means and what to do next. What I do know is that there is something special here and of course this can’t go on forever without something shifting. My only hope is that it whatever this shift that is happening next only brings us closer and not further apart.

Yesterday, we both woke up and like it had been the past couple of days; he ran out to get us coffee and brought it back. We got ready, checked out of our third hotel and headed back to the train station. He got us two tickets on the Acela train and as we boarded we both were still rather on a high from our fun in Boston. As the train began to take off, I thanked him for such a wonderful trip and he said, “It was my pleasure.” He played video games while I read my book, we took a short nap and he asked me several times about the subject of the book I was reading. When we finally made it back to the city, we walked around for a few more minutes before finally saying our goodbye. We hugged for a long time and then parted ways. When I got back into my apartment, I was still rather happy and grateful that I got to experience that all with Mr. D. Several hours later, I sent him a picture of us at the aquarium and he replied with, “Well aren’t we handsome!”

We all have our fantasy life, the life that we fantasize about and then we have the life that is our reality. That reality life is usually a little less glamorous and a little less easy going. Yet, if we take what we know, sprinkle it with happiness, gratitude and appreciation; we just might be on the path to building the mystery life into a reality.

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