"Update" NYC

Only Time Will Tell

Our lives are run by all sorts of timetables and those timetables can give us all a significant amount of stress and that stress that can vary from when a person is supposed to have that career that provides them with financial security to when we are to get married and start procreating. Time allows us to be organized, to respect other people’s time and to provide us with a gauge on how we are to live our lives. Time seems rather restricting but what happens when we let go of time and let things happen on its own?

As last week started, I knew that time wasn’t going to be on my side with regards to work. There simply weren’t enough hours in the day. I was working ten to twelve hour days and I was becoming significantly exhausted. I barely had any personal time but at times that is what comes with the territory in the fast paced world of advertising.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, I had already clocked almost forty hours, I was exhausted but there was a going away party for a very nice coworker of mine and I had to attend even though I really wanted to go home and sleep. The going away party was being held at a bar called, Rattle N Hum. I had actually never been to this bar but when I walked in, most of everyone was there already. My goal was to stay for only two drinks, say goodbye and take my tired ass home. Naturally, the moment that I’m finishing up with my second drink, my office crush taps me on my shoulder and lets me know that he arrived. We talked for a bit but I was trying my best to talk with other co-workers that I don’t get to chat with that often. Next thing I know, my two drinks rule turned into four and I was feeling buzzed. Time was certainly not on my side that evening because when I was standing outside talking with my office crush, I realized it was past eleven. He has been sober for the past two weeks and I’ve been so proud of him and so he was rather kind to me that after we said goodbye to everyone; he walked me to my subway station even though it’s not near his.

On Thursday, our agency was having a “team bonding” outside of the agency and it was based on your work load if you could attend or not. Of course, I had too much work on my plate and couldn’t attend. I was alright with this because with most of the agency gone, I was allowed to do my work without interruptions. I worked rather late that night and I got a text message from my office crush asking how work was treating me. I responded with how tired and frustrated I was and he sent a message that said, “You’re a source of sunlight in other people’s lives! Hope that helps.” It certainly made me smile and it certainly made the rest of the work night go by a lot smoother. When I got that message two things ran by my mind and that is…that this message came from him being in a sober state of mind and the other being that he has really come around with how he expresses himself since we first started hanging out.

I was relieved when I woke up on Friday morning because I knew that it was going to be a peaceful day at the office. Or so I thought. When I got there, more than half of the agency decided to not come in due to the Pope being in the city. Therefore, it would be harder to communicate with my coworkers with them sitting on their couches and me at my desk. I was putting out fire drills left and right and wasn’t in the best of moods. I was walking down the office hallway when I ran into my office crush and he said, “Don’t look so mad, tomorrow we will have fun.” He was referring to plans of him and I hanging out on Saturday afternoon, we hadn’t made any set plans but we just knew that we would be together. I smiled to acknowledge his kind gesture and continued walking.

After work, we still hadn’t figured out what we were doing the next day but he said he would keep me posted. I went to the gym after work to blow off some steam then showered and got ready to meet my old roommate and his boyfriend for some wine at Ardesia. We only had a few glasses before we went to their amazing rooftop and chatted a few minutes more before I decided to call it a night and get some much needed rest.

The next morning I slept in and woke up feeling revitalized. I was ready to do the gym, laundry and get ready for whatever our plans were going to be. I got a text message from him around 9:30 in the morning asking me if I wanted to join him for a game night at his buddies’ friends’ apartment in Brooklyn. He said I can pick him up at his apartment around five and we could go from there. I wasn’t sure what games were going to be played. I feared that it would be poker for the game of the night since it was going to be all straight guys and me. I decided that my best bet would be to bring some games of my own just in case I didn’t understand the rules of poker and we could play something that we all could enjoy.

I was a half hour late arriving at his apartment. When I got off the subway there was a text message from him that said, “You’re always late. Are you coming?” I knocked on his door and he was ready to go. I had to drop my bag off, get reorganized and then we could go. I could tell that he was “hangry” for he said that he was hungry three times in the five minutes after my arrival. I could also tell that my tardiness wasn’t something that he cared for. I asked if he could give me two minutes and he sighed but in a joking way.

When we walked outside of his apartment he said, “We always have an adventure. Let’s try this Hawaiian restaurant before we head over to my friend’s apartment.”  I agreed not knowing exactly what I was going to be eating. We sat down and began updating each other on our days and we both stuck to the no drinking thing. He ordered first and I stuck with something on the healthier side and I told him that I brought the games, Apples to Apples and Uno. He laughed and said he wasn’t sure if the guys would be into playing those games but he appreciated the sentiment of me bringing them. We took out the game Uno and began playing at the restaurant and we couldn’t stop laughing because I continued to lose each round. Finally, the food arrived just in time for me to lose another game of Uno. He described the food that I was eating, I had never had SPAM before but it tasted like ham. When I asked him exactly what SPAM was, he didn’t want to tell me, so I let it slide. When his entrée arrived there was a little orchid on his plate and he put it on mine saying, “I thought you’d like this. I know how you like orchids.” I smiled and continued eating this interesting cuisine. When the bill came, I went to reach for my wallet and he said, “No way. I’m getting this for I’m dragging you to game night and you brought games.” He paid and I thanked him profusely.

As we walked outside, he said that wanted to have another adventure. I wasn’t sure what he meant but I did know that “time” played an important factor. He said that he wanted to walk from Williamsburg to the Carroll Gardens area in Brooklyn where the game night was going to be. I didn’t know exactly how long that was going to take us but he said it was such a nice evening that it could be really fun to walk through the different parts of Brooklyn together. He called the host of game night to tell him what we were doing and his friend laughed at him and when I asked why he was laughing it was due to the fact that according to the map, it was going to take us over an hour to walk to Carroll Gardens. He asked if I was up for the adventure and I was.

During our walk we talked and laughed at how we’ve had some crazy adventures, we talked about our families, friends and even our upcoming trip to Boston. Time flew by so quickly and that included a bathroom break and me running into a store to buy something. As we started to walk through the Brooklyn Heights area that would lead us to Carroll Gardens I told him that I used to live in this area from 1996-1999. He told me that it’s insane that I was living in the city at that time for he was still in the Seattle area and wasn’t even thinking of New York at that time. I went on to tell him that I used to live in this area with my first boyfriend and that he actually still lives in the area. Then he said, in the most nonchalant way, “If we run into your ex, I have no problems pretending to be your fiancé.” I laughed and said, “You sure you know what you are getting into?” All he did was smile and said, “I would do that for you.” We continued our walk and finally arrived at our destination.

He knocked on his friends’ apartment door and when it opened his friend’s wife answered the door. She greeted my office crush with a hug first and as I began to hold out my hand for a hand shake and introduce myself, she pushed my hand out of the way and gave me a hug. She said, “I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you that I feel like I know you. Give me a hug.” We hugged and I met their two year old son and the wife was having her own girls’ night out and so we chatted for a few minutes about what she was going to wear and she kept complimenting me on how nice I smelled. The wife left for her night out and there I was left with my office crush and three other friends of his that I was meeting for my first time.

We began to make drinks and settle in for game night. We tried to play poker but after a couple of hands, I just couldn’t grasp the concept and so we played, Cards Against Humanity. During that game, the guys all started talking about Star Wars and there I confessed that I had never seen the movie. You would’ve sworn that I said something so offensive because they reacted like I was from another planet far, far away. They immediately put the movie on in the background while we continued to play games. After awhile, I suggested we try and play Uno, not exactly the most masculine game but for some reason, the guys were taking a major liking to me. They were laughing with me and at me. I was relieved to discover that they liked me because at one point I asked my office crush what the verdict was and he told me that I was a hit! We ended the night around 12:30 and we got a car back to his apartment. It was there that I stayed the night and we both fell asleep so quickly.

Saturday morning and we did our usual routine when we wake up in the morning. It consists of him reading me articles from his phone and me reading a book that I carry around and us laughing at the things we are reading about. Finally, around noon, I decided to head back to the city and get ready to meet my friends that were watching football.

All in all it was a perfect weekend and time was on my side. For months now people have asked me so much about what I’m getting out of this relationship. What’s the point and purpose of it all and will we ever have sex. All valid questions and questions that have my best interest at heart and what I do know is that time has really helped this relationship evolve. I was dealing with a coworker that had a girlfriend at the time that we met and over the course of several long months of us knowing each other we’ve seen the girlfriend disappear, we’ve had intense fights, we’ve made up, traveled together and have grown rather close. Maybe it is all about time, patience and understanding for I’m still trying to figure this out myself. What I do know is that time, as restricting as it can be can also provide a certain level of happiness.

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