"Update" NYC

The Consequences of Falling

The consequences that we receive from the universe are in direct proportion of a result or action that we set into motion. We planted the seed and it’s our responsibility to watch it grow, to monitor its progression and once we receive these results; it’s up to us to determine how they will live. There is no one to blame but ourselves for the outcome whether that outcome benefits us or not. Now that we know these universal laws…how heavy can the consequences be when you are actually falling for someone?

My week started off wonderfully. In fact, I was still on a high from that prior Sunday when I reconnected with my office crush. We had picked up right where we had left off about a month ago and something seemed different this time. I couldn’t put my finger on what had changed or where it was going to go but for the first time since I met him; I was calm. Maybe it was a result of me trying to let the things that I can’t control go or maybe the universe was allowing me to be calm after planting the seeds so many months ago. Regardless of the “why” I was calm; I was finally allowing myself to accept these emotions.

On Tuesday, my original plans for that evening was to meet with my office crush to see a movie but due to work for the both of us, we needed to reschedule. Thankfully, my friend that I had Wednesday plans with was able to accommodate me and I met up with him instead that evening. After work, I went to the gym, showered and went down to the Financial District to visit my friend. We hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks and it was really nice to catch-up. Over a couple of bottles of wine, we sat outside at this adorable wine bar and enjoyed the summer breeze and the stimulating conversation. As he walked me to my subway station, I couldn’t help but let in the terrible thought that most New Yorkers dread and that is, “summer is winding down.” It was the perfect summer evening and I appreciated my friend that allowed me to talk his ear off.

The next day at the office, I was working when my supervisor asked me to swing by her desk for she had a question for me. I was dreading the question. I was dreading that she was going to tell me that I was being let go or that the vacation days I requested was going to be denied. Instead, she asked me if I was able to take on another account. I couldn’t say no because I wanted to be a team player but what I should’ve asked was the specific account I would be taking on. When I already said yes to the account, I then asked who I’d be working with. As you can predict, the new team I will be working on is with my office crush. The universe certainly had a sense of humor when it came to this work situation. As soon as I said yes to working on the account; I was quickly introduced to the team. When it came time to be introduced to my office crush, we just smiled and I had such a feeling that everyone around us knew that we spent time together outside of the office.

Later on that day, my office crush and I laughed at the situation and the question of whether or not we’d be able to see a movie that evening came up. I told him that I could still do see the movie but work might get in the way for both of us. We agreed that we’d keep each other updated as the work day progressed. The movie was scheduled to play at 7:40 that evening and we ended up meeting at a bar around 6:45. I was certain that he was going to say that we will never make the movie and we should just sit at the bar and get drunk but I was pleasantly surprised when he turned to me and said, “Let’s see the movie. Let’s do something wholesome.” How could I argue with that? We quickly walked over to Time Square at 42nd Street and along the brisk walk he was saying to me, “We don’t need to see the previews.” To which I responded with, “Hurry your ass up. It’s all about the previews.” When we arrived at the movie theater, I got the tickets while he was getting the snacks. He already knew my favorite candy that I like to get when I go to the movies (peanut M&M’s). We got our seats just in time as the previews were beginning. Everything was falling into place. We were sitting there, whispering to each other about the previews and also sharing our snacks. I was so content that I was barley paying attention to the talking teddy bear on the screen (we saw Ted 2). After the movie, we talked a little bit outside and he mentioned a going away party for someone the next day that he said I should attend. I had plans already for that evening but during the movie, my plans had gotten canceled which left me free for the next evening. I told him that I would attend, we hugged goodbye and it was there that I discovered that the consequences that was happening to me after all these months of laughing and fighting with my office crush was that I was falling for him.

On Thursday, it marked the first day that my office crush and I would be working together as a team. Luckily, for the most part, I don’t have direct contact with him. I have been working my ass off to keep work separate from my emotions. I think I’ve done an alright job with that and I will continue to work on that. Work ended at a descent hour for us both and we both headed over to the local bar that was hosting the going away party. It was a rather sparse going away party for this coworker whom I had no idea even existed but thankfully I knew a few people there and I began to have a few drinks with them. I was only there for a couple of hours because I had a busy day at work the next day. However, something happened that evening that I wasn’t prepared for at all.

My office crush was telling me that he was going to meet up with his other group of guy friends at his favorite bar, Professor Thom’s, to watch a game. I told him that he should go because I was leaving soon anyhow. As he was saying goodbye to everyone, he came up to me and gave me a hug and while he was hugging me he said, “I love you.” Then the part that I wasn’t at all prepared for happened. I said, “I love you too.” He took one step back away from me and said, “Wow. That is the first time you’ve ever said that to me.” It was kind of hard to have a moment while coworkers were surrounding us and so I reverted back to my old-self and said, “You should go and enjoy your game.” He left and I sat there somewhat stunned by the words that came out of my mouth. I hadn’t said “I love you” to another man in almost ten years. I finished my drink and took myself home. I was certain that I was going to analyze the entire episode that had just occurred but for some reason, I didn’t need to. I was happy and confident in my actions.

The next morning, I grabbed my bag that was packed for the weekend. This past weekend had me going to see my best girlfriend in Boston. There was a little talk of my office crush going with me but due to work, it didn’t allow. During the work day, I asked him if he could send me specific directions on how to use the subway system in Boston because it’s slightly confusing and I get lost all the time. He emailed me directions and I thought that was going to be the last I would hear from him until I returned on Sunday. I even left without saying goodbye to him. I feared that if we over communicated that everything that had happened over the past 48 hours would somehow be taken away.

I was an hour into my commute on the bus headed toward Boston when I noticed that my phone was ringing. Shocked that anyone still speaks on the phone, I looked at my phones’ screen and saw that it was my office crush. I picked up the phone and it was him asking me if I had made it on the bus alright and to let him know that I got to Boston safely. I told him that I wished he was on this trip and he agreed with me. I didn’t know what else to say to him and so I told him to focus on work and that I’d see him on Monday at the office. I was on cloud nine. Not only had we done the movie, said some rather important words toward each other but now he was checking in on me. If things had stopped there, I would be very happy with all the consequences that were falling into place.

I arrived at my girlfriends’ house at 7 and by 7:15, we were already sitting on her couch with a bottle of rose wine and talking non-stop. As I sat there telling her everything that had happened, she blurted out, “He should totally come here. Get him over here immediately.” I sent him a text message saying he should try and catch the earliest bus the next morning. It was there that sparked a lot of text messages between us. Things that included “I miss you” and “I wish I was there.”  He never made it to the trip because of timing and work and in the end it was for the best for me. I wanted and needed this time with my friend without any crazy distractions.

The rest of the weekend was great. We even saw the legendary guitarist, Dick Dale; perform at a club in downtown Boston. My office crush asked me to send him pictures of the places that I was visiting without him and I did. I even bought him a t-shirt from the restaurant that he first took me too when we went to Boston back in March.

When I left Boston yesterday, I was sad to see my friend go but she already planned out the next trip for me to come back in a month and this time she wants me to bring my office crush along for the ride. We shall see if that happens and only time can predict that one.

Everything that we do starts out with us planting a seed. When we apply for a job, we are planting the seed in hopes that we get hired. When we meet someone that we like, we put out an energy that lets the other person know that we are interested and when we pray, wish or meditate on the things that we hope will come true, we are setting into motion the future consequences that we will receive. Here is hoping that everyone receives the wonderful things that the universe can provide us.

1 Comment

  1. In Season 2 Episode 6 of Bojack Horseman, Bojack accidentally tells his girlfriend, an owl voiced by Lisa Kudrow,”I love you!” without thinking about it so then he adds on “Uh, uh…no I don’t!” and then runs out the door ha ha. Glad you handled it better than him. 🙂

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