"Update" NYC

T.R.O.U.B.L.E.

As kids, we did our best to avoid getting into trouble for fear of getting punished from our parents. Then as teenagers, we begin to test the boundaries with just how far we can be rebellious without getting caught. When we reach our young twenties, it’s as if we are Bambi learning how to walk. We fall down, make mistake after mistake and continue to get into trouble, except this time, our parents aren’t there to punish us. Instead, we now have to take responsibility for this chaos that we’ve created. However, at what point in our lives do we ever stop getting into trouble or are we forever destined to constantly be in a state of eternal chaos.

My entire week last week was a series of unplanned events and normally I try to have a schedule or else I will forget everything. Instead, I found myself flirting with TROUBLE. Last Tuesday, I was hanging with my first partner in crime when I moved to the city…Feathers. We were taking our girlfriend out for birthday drinks at this famous bar called, Fraunces Tavern. It was our entire first times going and it was such an amazing experience for us all. We thought we were going to go out all night but we all looked at each other and realized it was a Tuesday and we are all getting too old for this kind of behavior. So, we all got on the subway and took our tired asses home.

The next evening was something that wasn’t planned at all, well, it kind of was but not to the kind of level that I was anticipating. My office crush and I had been getting closer ever since our first happy hour a few weeks ago. That day after work, he and I agreed to do another happy hour down at our local bar, The Tippler. He was already waiting for me at the bar and we immediately started drinking these fancy drinks. I didn’t even bother to look at the price of these drinks but rather what the ingredients were. We began drinking this drink called, Booty Collins, and boy, does she pack a punch. We began talking about every single topic you could think of. We met at 6 p.m. and then somewhere around 9 p.m. we decided to settle the bill. When the bill came, it was almost $200 bucks!!! My office crush, grabbed the bill and said, “Don’t worry, I got this.” I was floored and insisted on paying half. He told me that it wasn’t necessary and so I said, in my drunken state of mind, “Well, then let’s go across the street and I will buy some beers for us.” He agreed and we walked across the street to, Gaslight.

At Gaslight, we had a few beers but after a few beers, he said something I wasn’t anticipating at all. He said, “Why don’t we just go back to my place and we can hang-out there.” I was not expecting this at all and considering how drunk we already were. I should’ve gone home but I wanted to get into trouble and I think he knew that. I paid the bill and the next thing I knew…I was on the subway headed toward Williamsburg in Brooklyn.

We get off on the Lorimer stop of the L train and I have no idea where I am even at. I do remember a pretty church that I loved as we walked to his building. I remember picking up Bud Lights at the corner deli and I also remember thinking that this is a Wednesday night and I’m going to hate being at work.

As we were settled in his apartment, he wanted to show me his rooftop and so we went up to the roof top to see all of Manhattan and even parts of Brooklyn. It was a beautiful sight to see all the lights and it was too cold to stay up there too long and we went back down to his apartment.

In his apartment, we talked, laughed and then he put on some Cuban music and we were dancing in his kitchen. As we were in his kitchen, he said, “I really like talking to you. You are so fun and nice. Can I hug you?” I told him, “No.” I laughed it off because this is a man that is straight and has a girlfriend not to mention we work on the same floor.

The night continued and before I knew it, it was 2:30 a.m. on a Wednesday. I haven’t done this kind of night in years and I told him that I needed to get home. He looked at me and said, “Why don’t you just stay the night?” I asked where I would sleep and he told me that I would be sleeping in his bed with him. We didn’t have sex, in fact, we didn’t do anything sexually. There was a slight cuddle but again, it was late, we were drunk and this entire thing was nothing but trouble with a capital “T”.

Next morning and we both are hurting badly for all the obvious reasons. I leave him in his bed and I do the walk of shame. Or shall I say, I did the subway of shame. I had to go all the way from Brooklyn to Hell’s Kitchen and back down to Chelsea to be at work by 9:30. When I got to work, everyone knew by my face that I had a crazy night. I was dying and I didn’t hear from my office crush until after noon. He didn’t get into the office till that late. He thanked me for a fun evening and told me how he was hurting as well. We both got a good laugh and I think I saw him a few more times in the office before I had to leave to meet a friend for dinner that evening.

I was back to my normal self on Friday, after a long rest the night before. During the day, work was business as usual and then I got a message from my office crush. He was asking about my weekend and what my plans were. I told him what they were and he was jealous because his plans weren’t as exciting. In fact, that Friday evening, he was going to have dinner with his girlfriend’s parents in New Jersey. He asked me what time I was meeting my friends for happy hour and when I told him that I wasn’t meeting them till 6:30, he suggested we meet for a couple of drinks before we both had to leave to our other plans.

Back at the Tippler, we were having our famous drinks, Booty Collins. We only had two and that was enough because I could tell we both were already getting buzzed and so, before we were leaving, he asked me a provocative question (I can’t share with you readers, sorry). I laughed and answered him honestly and then we both hugged goodbye and went our separate ways.

That evening, several of my friends and I went to enjoy our happy hour. We went to Barracuda and then onto Julius. After the bar hopping we went back to my friend’s apartment in Chelsea and got ourselves into more trouble. However, we did call it an early night and I was in bed and fast asleep by 12:30.

On Saturday, the city woke up to rain. Annoying but also was nice to be forced to stay inside and get rest that I desperately needed. However, after a couple of hours, I couldn’t sit still and went shopping. I shopped, went to the gym before taking a cat nap and then got ready for dinner.

I was having dinner with my friend and his boyfriend. We all met at this cute restaurant called, The Marshal. After dinner, we decided to stay in the Hell’s Kitchen area and bar hop. We discovered this new bar called, D.B.L. which stands for, Dive Bar Lounge. After that, we went over to Ninth Avenue Saloon. While we were there, I felt my phone vibrate and when I pulled my phone out…there was a text message from my office crush. Something I wasn’t expecting at all and so I read it and he was asking what I was doing. I told him where and what I was doing. Before I knew it, he asked me to come over and hangout. My friend hailed a cab for me and next thing I know, I was telling the cab driver to take me to Brooklyn.

When I arrived at his building, he was standing outside waiting for me. We hugged and I could tell that he had been drinking a little and of course…I had been too. We go inside and he first suggested we go to a bar but considering I had been bar hopping all night; I suggested we stay inside. He puts on some music and we continued to talk and share things with each other until around 3 a.m. He, once again, suggested that I stay the night and so I said, “Well, if that’s the case then I will need something to sleep in.” He gave me his boxer shorts and a t-shirt. In bed, before we were going to pass out, he said he’s glad his girlfriend doesn’t stay the night at his apartment because his clothes and bed smells like the fragrance I always wear.

The next morning, we begin to wake up and he gets up to get his haircut. I get up thinking I need to leave his place and he said, “No, no. Stay in bed till I get back. Take your time.” I stay in bed and think about what the hell is going on with this crazy situation. I’ve stayed at this coworkers place twice in a matter of a week and we talk about some rather personal stuff and he makes me laugh. He comes back and takes a quick shower. He finishes getting ready and we head back to the city. Before we head back to the city, he suggests we take a long walk to the subway which is prettier and there we talked about the different buildings, opening a coffee shop one day and just how crazy of the fact that I’ve stayed over at his place twice now.

On the subway, he suggested we go get brunch and I told him that I couldn’t do it. He had work to do at the office and I had a birthday party later on that afternoon. Plus, I was nervous that my mind was already going to different places that it really shouldn’t. We hugged goodbye at the subway of 14th and 8th Avenue and parted ways.

When I got home, I was exhausted but had to get laundry done. However, I wasn’t sure if I was physically or mentally exhausted. Everything was a little confusing at the moment but I also know that I’ve been in this situation before with a confusing man that sends mixed signals. I know this is trouble, I know how this will already end and yet if I am totally honest with myself. I’m drawn to this like a moth to the flame. This entire situation spells: TROUBLE.

I didn’t have any time to sit and process what had all happened because I was meeting friends at the Standard Biergarten for a birthday gathering. I wasn’t there long before some friends were grilling me about my weekend and of course, everyone had an opinion, a thought and tons of suggestions. I only stayed for two beers and took myself home to get some much needed rest for the week ahead and to also stay out of trouble.

As we get older, we begin to learn rather quickly (some faster than others) the concept of trouble. We begin to understand the concept of consequences and how our actions lead us to our end results. Sometimes we pay attention to these signs and stay out of trouble and other times we go in searching for trouble. Regardless of how we live our lives and the paths we take, we most always remember that our responsibility will always lie within ourselves.

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