"Update" NYC

That’s A Wrap

It happens like clockwork. It’s that time of year where we begin to panic about all that needs to get done before the year is over with. There are the holiday parties, packages to be bought, travels to get to safely and reflections on your year. With all the hustle and bustle that occurs every single year around this time; it’s rather hard to find the time to sit back and look back. To try and wrap up 365 days into one nice package isn’t always easy to do and for some it can be a hard thing to accomplish. This is my last entry for UpDateNYC for 2014 and oh what year it’s been.

The beginning of last week was all about preparing. Preparing my body for the damage I was going to do to it over the weekend. Preparing work so that I wouldn’t have any late nights and preparing my mind set that the year was finally coming to an end.

By the time Thursday had rolled around, I was more than ready to let my hair down a little. However, when I was able to meet an old friend of mine (and ex) for a quick drink that evening; I wasn’t prepared for what I was going to learn. It’s a friend that I don’t see that often and so when he asked to see me because he really needed to talk to me. I made sure to clear out my calendar for him. We only had an hour to see each other but we crammed a lot in that hour.

I ordered a glass of white wine and he stuck with drinking a seltzer. He was silent for a few minutes and finally I asked, “What’s wrong. You can tell me and I won’t judge you.”  His response to me was, “I think you will and should judge me.” His eyes began to be filled with tears and he began to confess to me his dark secrets. We all have them. It can be a secret that you are embarrassed by, ashamed to admit or not even sure how to define. I sat there listening to every word he was telling me and not judging. In fact, it was the opposite of judgment. It was compassion. This man that I’ve known for 14 years, his life is going to be totally different and what’s more shocking is; I thought he had everything. He had the looks, the money, the apartment, the boyfriend, the family and yet it wasn’t enough for him. It’s not drugs or even a disease but rather just something that can cripple someone. My heart goes out to him and I know he will find himself again. His year was wrapping up to be a rather rough one but that doesn’t mean he can’t and won’t change it. I’m proud of him and know that he will make what is wrong…right.

After I left my friend, I was off to my neighborhood to meet another man in my life. My ex-roommate of many years and he will always be a close friend of mine. We met at, Industry, for happy hour and began to update each other on our lives. It was hard at first to change my emotions. I felt so drained from just that hour with my friend and then to try and be happy with my ex-roomate was not an easy transition. Yet, I pushed through and got back on track.

After a few drinks at Industry, we walked over to, Eatery, for dinner and more drinks. It was so nice to talk with him and we’ve certainly seen each other in some interesting situations over the years. Once dinner was over with, it was time to wrap up the evening with a night cap over at, Posh. There we sat down at a table like two old ladies, drinking beer and making fun of the patrons. We said our goodbyes around midnight, knowing that our lives are pretty busy and might not see each other until after the holidays.

The next day was going to be a busy one. I had two birthday parties that evening and luckily they both involved the same crowd and the same borough…Brooklyn. I finished work on time and rushed to the gym to sweat out the booze from the night before. When I got done with the gym, I saw that there was a message from my younger coworker whom I foolishly thought was interested in me. We hadn’t communicated with each other since that infamous Friday night. I only saw him once during the work week and the smile we gave to each other was rather awkward. I debated on whether or not I wanted to even read what he had to say but of course; I read it. It said, “I just wanted to say how sorry I am for being so rude and inappropriate to you last week. I would’ve apologized earlier but wanted to give you time to cool off.” I didn’t respond. Too little. Too late and not even worth my time to begin a message tug-of-war. It’s a wrap between us. My lesson was learned and my job is more important to me.

I got ready and jumped on the L train that would take me to Williamsburg. Thankfully, on the train ride, I ran into friends of mine that were going to the same party as me. They asked me if I knew where I was going once we got off on the subway. I said that I did but somehow, six avenues later, I realized we were going in the wrong direction because we were too busy talking. We finally made it to my friend’s party. The party was being held at our friend’s new cupcake café, Sweethaus, that just opened and it was gorgeous. All our friends showed up, we drank, ate and danced for a few hours before having to head off to the next party. The planning for the evening couldn’t have been better because the next venue was only a few blocks away from Sweethaus.

The next birthday party was just as fun, a private backroom with video images playing, a dj and a private bar to cater all the drunks. Finally, after one too many cocktails; it was time to go home because we all had a big night the following night. A friend walked out with me and hailed me a cab and thirty dollars later…I was home and in bed.

I was impressed the next morning that I woke up feeling good. I did laundry, went to the gym and even had time for a facial. I got ready and went to my friend’s holiday party in Chelsea that is notorious for having all our friends there and lasting for many hours. I arrived around 3:30 and the party was just starting to get going. By the time the late evening rolled around, you couldn’t even move. There was so many people, endless booze, food and you could hear the party from the street. It was a huge success and before I knew it; I was being dragged to another friend of mine’s apartment for the after party. There we did the same thing. We drank, we listened to music and it was another late night. I didn’t get home till 3:30 a.m. It was worth it but I knew I had done some serious damage to my liver.

I woke up yesterday feeling slow. Not hungover but just slow moving. As I was lying on my couch watching reruns of, I Love Lucy, I received an email. The email was from my ex-boyfriend that I’ve been hanging out with in a casual way. The occasional movie, happy hour or shopping and I know he has a boyfriend and that is fine. His email asked me if I was staying under the blanket or if I wanted to go out and hangout with him. I told him that I could be ready in an hour and jumped in the shower. I got dressed and there I sat. He never got in touch with me again after that. No email saying where to go, what time or anything along those lines. When I sent him an email asking him what the situation was, I received no response and as of now…still not a word. He had disappeared. I’m not sure the rhyme or the reasoning for his disappearance act but this is the third man this year to pull a Houdini on me. I’m not sure why they vanish because they never will come forth with their excuses. I’m alright with it because after the year I’ve had; that kind of behavior barely makes a dent anymore. The remainder of my day was left in silence.

This past year has not only been tough on me but those close to me as well. I’m fully aware that it’s called LIFE and that it will be filled with the ups and the downs. It’s just appeared that this year was a major test…

There was my health that I had to rebuild this spring. A major life changing experience dealing with identity theft and putting my life back together that left me flat broke and scared. A funny haircut incident that left me with a completely shaved head after someone bumped into my hairdresser. Then there was losing my job and not knowing what to do. And how could we forget that after my identity theft, the job loss and then I was robbed at a Halloween store in Union Square. Of course, there is the countless dating experiences that occurred that left me feeling rather empty and still does. However, the other things I was able to witness this year was five weddings, travels, gaining a new job and the constant support from my friends and family.

I can’t say how honored, grateful and appreciative I am for the constant readers and the many countries that this tiny little blog is being read in. We can’t predict the future, all we can do is live the life that we are given, learn the lessons, live by example and be the best versions of ourselves. That’s a wrap!

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