"Update" NYC

Expect the Unexpected

We live in a paranoid world where we do almost everything to protect ourselves from ever getting hurt. We wear seatbelts to prevent us from getting hurt in a car accident. Sunscreen to protect our skin from getting burned and we are required to watch prevention videos before flights in order to prepare us for the unforeseen event that the plane should go down. All day long we are out there doing everything in our power to prepare ourselves for the unexpected. However, the life as we know it, will endlessly throw us curve balls that will completely throw us off of our game. So, the real questions boils down to…how do you prepare yourself for the unexpected?

I’ve been away from the blog for about two weeks now because life, as expected, decided to throw me off of my course. For the past couple of months, everything in my life seemed to be going smoothly. The new job was continuing to go well, an ex of mine was back in my life and things were progressing with that on a romantic level. It just seemed like from outside all of my ducks were starting to get in a row.

The first week of this month, things with this ex was going strong. We were communicating daily, having dates; I even brought him out a few times to be with me and my friends. As far as I was concerned, I was satisfied with the pace of where things were headed. The first week of this month, he asked me out for that upcoming Saturday night. He set it up that we would have an adult date where we go out to dinner and be out and about rather than another take-out dinner type of date. I was looking forward to it just like all the prior dates we were having. Then on the Friday, the day before our date; I didn’t really hear from him that day but briefly in the evening when I reached out to say hi. I assumed he was busy with work but darn that social media where I noticed on Facebook that he was out with his coworkers having drinks. Right then and there, I knew that our date the next night was going to get canceled. I was preparing myself mentally for the expected.

Saturday morning, I woke up and went about my errands. Finally around 1 or 2 in the afternoon, I decided to reach out to him. It took a bit for him to respond but he responded with how hung over he was. I was alright with him being hungover. We’ve all been there before and had to power through the agony. He told me he was going to take a shower and get something to eat so that could potentially feel better. Another hour goes by and he says that he needs to cancel our date and is sorry. I wrote back, “ok”. There was really nothing left to say except, I found the cancelation of the date to be rude and inconsiderate of my time.  I wasn’t going to beg or plead to reschedule for another time for us to hang out. I figured that he should be the one to reschedule since he was the one that not only asked me out for that Saturday night but was also the one who canceled our date that night. This kind of behavior coming from him was something that wasn’t expected. He surprised me because he has always been polite and kind to me. Thankfully, I got in touch with my friends and we properly got drunk.

The next day, he did reach out and asked if I was able to find other plans. I told him yes I did. Throughout the entire exchange of our text messages; I thought for sure that he was going to suggest rescheduling but the words never appeared on my phone. That Sunday would be the last I would hear from him for several days.  I figured I’d let him reach me but after about five or six days, I couldn’t take it any longer and sent him a simple “hello” message. I got the response that I was expecting. It was one of the reasons I let things go the last time we tried to date. It was his constant excuse of his job. I would never come between someone and their career; however, I also will not tolerate the excuse of saying work so busy that you cannot find two seconds to send a text message. If you have the time to walk to and from the subway, brush your teeth and send messages on social media then you have time to communicate with someone that you might potentially want to date. It’s that simple yet we are the ones that complicate things. When I got the response that I was expecting, I told him that work for me was also insane. That was over a week ago and the communication has stopped between us all together. There was a part of me that as we were slowly finding ourselves back together again that he was going to pull the “work is too busy” card and as expected…he did. Am I ok with how this transpired? Yes. Am I disappointed? Sure. However, I was predicting that this would happen and it did. So, maybe in hindsight, the person that I have to blame is myself. However, life was about to throw another curveball my way that I wasn’t expecting…

Around the same time that my ex was drifting away, my work life shifted. The account that I was originally working on was unexpectedly taken away from the agency and they needed to find another account for me to work on right away. They wasted no time and before I knew it, I was part of team that was in the middle of a major launch. That launch would change my entire work schedule. For the past two weeks, I found myself not only working on weekends but working such insane hours like, 9 a.m. to 3 a.m., and getting back up and doing it again. This work schedule has been going on for the past two weeks straight. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I was getting the shit kicked out of me from every single direction and the agency was showing me no mercy. Finally, last Thursday, after working thirteen days in a row with those insane hours; I told my supervisor that I needed just one day off to recharge my batteries. I was granted my wish and I was able to take Friday off with the caveat that I would need to work the entire weekend. I took my day off and ran with it.

Last Friday, I woke up and felt revitalized. I met up with a friend for brunch, followed by a movie. After the movie, my friend and I went separate ways and I went back home to collect myself before contacting my other friends to see what was on their agendas for the evening. Knowing that I might have work the next day, I knew I couldn’t stay out too late.

A friend of mine invited me over to his apartment to pre-game before going out. As I was at my friend’s apartment, I received a text message from my boss. It read, “No weekend work. Go and enjoy your weekend. You’ve earned it.” I almost started crying and I quickly grabbed my coat and my friend and went to Barracuda for much needed cocktails. As we were there, more friends of ours joined us and before I knew it. We were leaving that bar and heading to The Eagle. It felt so good to be out and about and not thinking about work or anything else for that matter. I didn’t get home till 3:30 that night and it was worth it. It was becoming apparent that what I was expecting my weekend to be all about work was quickly turning into a weekend of possibilities.

Saturday and I found myself up and ready to tackle all of the things that I’ve neglected. I worked out, did laundry and got a facial. I was even more excited because that night I was going to a concert. I hadn’t been to a concert in so long and we were seeing the band, St. Lucia, play at Terminal 5.

Throughout the entire weekend, I should also point out, was that I was messaging with someone that I was not expecting to be messaging with at all. I was messaging with a coworker. A coworker that when I first started at this agency, confessed to a friend that I have an office crush. This coworker is also a coworker that I don’t even know if he is gay or not. So, it came to my surprise that on Friday while I was enjoying my day off that I got a text message from him. He was out of the office that day having his wisdom teeth pulled. When he told me about his procedure that he was getting done, I jokingly told him to send me a picture because I knew his cheeks would be swollen like chipmunks. I got the picture of him with his chipmunk cheeks and from there our conversation continued throughout Friday and Saturday.

Our messages went from work related stuff to what felt like a date. Over the course of last Friday to Saturday, we covered topics from favorite movies, books, foods to where we want to travel one day. Finally, somehow, we landed on the topic of our love for hot chocolate and before I knew it…we scheduled us to meet this past Sunday for hot chocolate.

Yesterday morning, I woke up and feeling tired but not hungover, which surprised me because we drank a lot at the concert from Saturday night. I decided to have a lazy Sunday and then reached out to my coworker to confirm our 7 p.m. hot chocolate meeting. He confirmed and we were all set to meet. I took advantage of the time I had before meeting him to shop. Finally, around 6:50 or so, he sent me a message that the place I suggested, City Bakery, was closed for the night. At first, I thought he was lying but turns out…he wasn’t. I suggested we try another place and luckily for us, we found a table at this cute French café.

I wasn’t sure if he was nervous or maybe even I was but he barely said anything and I was talking a mile a minute. What I do know is that I was actually nervous about even meeting a coworker for something outside of a work related event. Over the course of our hot chocolate, we talked about our hobbies, the upcoming holidays and we only slightly touched on the topic of relationships. The only thing I found out, in regards to the topic of relationships, is that he is single. I didn’t dive into whether he was gay or straight and the conversation never allowed me to go in any other direction. I decided it was best to not pry just yet and to give it time to build trust and to let the trust build all on its own.

What I did know about my time with my coworker and our hot chocolate was that I was having fun and I wasn’t expecting to at all. We are pretty opposite on all aspects. I’m older and he is younger, I’m loud and he is quiet, he plays ice hockey and the only think I know about ice hockey is the Rangers. As the evening was wearing on, I knew I had to get back home to get rest for I knew I had a hectic work week ahead and he was going to actually work from home today. We walked and talked some more and I dropped him off at his subway stop. We hugged goodbye and before I knew it, I got a message from him thanking me for a good time. I have zero clue as to what that encounter meant. Was it simply two coworkers having hot chocolate or is there something more? Only time will tell and this is something that I cannot put any expectations on but to let nature take its course.

Expecting the unexpected can be its own personal torture device. We could sit around forever torturing ourselves over the “what if’s” or the “what’s going to happen next?”, that we actually run the risk of allowing wonderful things to happen in our lives. As they say, a life without risk is no life at all.

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