"Update" NYC


Whenever I hear the saying, “Give it 110%.” I often think, “Isn’t 100% more than enough?” What is it about that extra 10% that is going to make a difference in the outcome of whatever it is that we are trying to achieve? Does it mean that if we don’t put in that extra 10%, in the end we will fail? Or worse yet, what happens when you believe that you gave it that extra 10% and you still end up short? In matters of this elusive 110%…is this helping us or setting us up for failure?

The week started off with business as usual. We got the blog out (which was very successful-thank you readers), gym and rest. What didn’t feel like business as usual, was that I was slowly becoming accustomed to getting up on Monday mornings and commuting from Jersey City back into the city. However, things were slightly different there since J.C. had a friend from out of town that arrived the Saturday prior and would be staying with him for a week. Therefore, that meant, we wouldn’t be seeing each other for awhile. I was completely fine with it, because it gave me a chance to catch-up with friends that I’ve either neglected or failed to set any time with. I’ve always given my relationship with my friends 110% but as we all know, when someone new comes into the picture; the balance is slightly thrown off. It’s our job to make sure that everyone that is involved in our lives is never in doubt of how important they are.

On Tuesday, after work and after the gym; I made my way down to Union Square. I was meeting one of my oldest girlfriends for a long overdue “girl talk.” We were having dinner at, Ichabolds, but when I arrived there in the pouring rain. They informed me that they wouldn’t have a table for over an hour. When I turned around to leave and grab my umbrella, my umbrella was gone. My karma of always taking umbrellas had finally caught up with me. I just stood there and laughed because it was exactly what I deserved. I messaged my girlfriend to just meet at the W Hotel instead. We both were without umbrellas and were completely drenched. As we were seated and dried ourselves off, we ordered a bottle of wine and got right down to the nitty gritty. Work, men, family, men, friendships, men and travel were all discussed. We didn’t leave one topic untouched. We were there for so long that the rain even gave up and we were able to have a dry commute back home.

Wednesday, otherwise known as Hump Day! It was a gorgeous day in the city. Not a cloud in the sky, everything was going wonderful and then something even more wonderful happened. J.C. sent me a text message that he was in the city shopping with his out-of-town friend. I asked him what store they were in and when he told me, it was literally around the corner from office. I told him where I worked and suggested I come to see him for a quick hello. So, I brought along a co-worker to meet him as well. All she could say to J.C. was, “You are so tall and handsome.” I think that made him feel nice and I certainly agreed with her. I could only stay for a few minute due to a deadline. However, before I left, I suggested that we all meet for a happy hour before they all needed to head back home. They liked the idea and so around 5:15, I met them at, Medi Wine Bar.

Over a bottle of wine, I got to know his friend a little bit and they shared their shopping day with me. J.C.’s best friend also ended up joining us and it was rather sweet that I was with J.C. and his friends. We moved along to the bar, Flaming Saddles, so that we could show his friend from out-of-town the dancers that dance on the bar. As we sat there with our drinks, the topic of the movie, Shrek, came up. I have heard of the movie but I’ve never seen it. So, when I announced this shocking news of never seeing this movie before. J.C. said to his friend, in front of me, “Can you believe this is the guy that I’m dating? He’s never seen Shrek.” I had a choice right then and there (even after several glasses of wine). I had the choice to either react in front of him of what he had said about us “dating” or I could act like I didn’t hear it and just internally be happy with what was just put out into the universe. I opted to keep it inside and not make a big deal in front of him and his friends. They all needed to get back home and I had dinner plans with a friend of mine. He kissed me goodbye and I stumbled to my friend’s apartment where on his gorgeous rooftop, amongst the summer breeze; we discussed our lives. It was a rather perfect Hump Day.

It was already Thursday and I had managed to be active with the gym, see friends that I hadn’t seen in awhile and at the same time ending up seeing J.C. in a spontaneous manner. It was a week where I felt like I giving myself and everyone around me, 110% and the results were showing. There was a company party that afternoon that started at 1 and was lasting for several hours, which meant only one thing…free alcohol. At first, I held off on drinking because of my previous night and I had a feeling my weekend ahead would consist of being rather social. However, after about an hour, I caved in. Like a bag of potato chips, once you have one; you want the entire bag. Which is exactly what happened to me. I had the entire bag of potato chips. Thankfully, the event took place in my neighborhood but as the evening progressed, I became more and more intoxicated. J.C. was kind enough to call me, to make sure I got home safely and continued throughout the night to check-in with me to see how I was doing. Finally, I left that one party in order to meet a friend at the bar, Hardware, where I simply couldn’t drink anymore and walked myself home. I believe the last thing I did was to tell J.C. thank you for making sure I was alright.

It was Friday, I was exhausted but I pushed through because when the weather is amazing: I treat the days as if the next day I will be presented with a frigid climate. I met up with a friend of mine, whom I also hadn’t seen in a very long time for a movie. After the movie, I met up with another group of friends at, Elmo. There we all had blood orange cosmopolitans and updated each other on our lives. After the drinks, we all began to go our different ways; and I ended up going to a friend’s apartment for some drinks before we all ended up at the most delicious Chinese restaurant in Chelsea, The Grand Sichuan. After we devoured our meals, everyone was too full and disgusted with themselves to even entertain the idea of going out. We all hugged, went our separate ways and I walked home in the steamy city night.

Waking up on Saturday, an odd overcast day that you knew was going to burn off by the time noon rolled around. Yet, even before noon, I had managed to do the laundry, clean the apartment and even have an excellent gym session. I was ready to take on the day. There was talk of me meeting up with J.C. and his friends that were stopping into the city in the afternoon but that never happened and I was alright with that since I was seeing him the next day. Instead, a friend of mine invited me over to another friend of ours apartment for dinner. I picked up a bottle of wine and arrived around 8:30. There, I was introduced to this woman whom I instantly hit it off with.

Over wine, I asked her how long she’s been married. She told me that she and her husband had been married for seven years but dated even longer before that. She also shared with me this theory of the, 110%. She told me that every single day, no matter if it’s good or bad, that both her and husband give the marriage, 110%. Of course, I questioned this and asked how it’s even possible with life’s daily challenges. The answer is simple but also very hard to do: You have to want to give that 110%.

She was right and while it’s a fucking hard thing to do sometimes; you do end up seeing the results from it. As the evening progressed, of course, she grilled me about my own dating life. While things with J.C. are still very fresh, that doesn’t mean we aren’t to give 110%. Like your career, friendships and everything else that you care about; if you don’t give it…how do you expect to receive it? It was a nice thing to see that two people are still in love even over time and that they are still so passionate about one another.  We ended the night with a few beers at, Julius before heading off into a cab to take me home.

The next morning, I woke up and I knew that J.C. had already been up for hours since he had to drive his friend to the airport at 5 a.m. Not the way you want to start your day off. However, my hope was that he was going to have a good day at work and afterwards that he and I would be able to spend some time together. A couple of hours into his work day; I receive a text from him asking if it would be alright if he postponed our date for he was tired, cranky and just didn’t feel like being around people.

I was crushed. I was disappointed and while I knew he had been entertaining his guest for the past week, been on the go that day since 5 a.m. that somehow seeing me would bring his spirits up and he would relax. I took a minute before I responded and thought about the conversation from the previous night of giving it 110% before I messaged him back. I was honest with him. I told him about how disappointed I was and that while I understand his mood; that I did miss him. A few minutes later, he told me to come over, that we were invited to his best friend’s house for a BBQ and that things were alright. Maybe there was something to that 110% theory. Maybe J.C. just needed to know that someone missed him. Or maybe he realized that he overreacted. Either way, I was proud of myself for not letting an opportunity pass by and so, I got ready and jumped on the path train.

When I arrived, of course I was lost on how to get to his salon. I asked a little old lady which way I needed to go and she walked with me 99% percent of the way. On that walk, I told her the reason I was in Jersey City and she just smiled and said, “That sounds so lovely dear. Good luck.” I arrived at J.C.’s salon, he gave me a quick haircut (nice perk) and we went to run some errands. When we got back to his apartment to walk his dog really quickly; I was wishing that he was going to come back from walking the dog ready to devour me. When he came back, he did just that. Which, of course, made us slightly late for the BBQ but I believe everyone at the BBQ understood our tardiness. The BBQ was fun and I even learned how to melt chocolate chips into a sauce for dipping strawberries! After the BBQ, J.C. and I went back to his apartment where we watched a movie from his bed before falling asleep.

I woke up this morning in his arms, feeling confident, delighted and wishing that we both had the day off. He dropped me off at the path station and back to the city I went. Even though we only got to spend hours together; I honestly felt like both of us were giving 110% to the limited time we had. It was a nice way to start the week.

It will never be easy to give something or someone 110% every single day of our lives. Those will probably end up being the days where you see the failures and disappointments. Seeing that no one ever really wants to fail or end up disappointed; I guess it might be in all of our best interest to give that 110% percent because after-all…that 10% can make a big difference in our end results.

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