"Update" NYC

Wash Yourself Clean

Water. It’s something that we use each and every single day for different purposes. From cooking to keeping our bodies hydrated, after all water can make up to 75% of our body weight. It’s an essential need in order for all of us to survive. However, that’s the more scientific and logical way to look at water. The metaphorical side to water, the more emotional side and even the spiritual side to water is that is can represent whatever you want it to be. From washing away our sins to healing our wounded souls. Washing ourselves clean can not only be therapeutic but necessary both physically and mentally.

I was in much need of that “healing” water myself when Monday presented itself. You see, I am and have been a victim of identity theft and it has been going on for the past two years. Just when I think everything is resolved some other credit card or cell phone gets opened up using my name. It’s bad enough that my credit is being ruined but I’m not even getting the benefits of ruining it myself. Therefore, most of my Monday was spent on the phone with the Credit Bureaus, Social Security and all my accounts to change the passwords. It was exhausting and each time I was put on hold or told to speak to a different representative to fix my situation, the more furious I became. I was never good with money but over the past several years; I’ve worked very hard to wash myself of my dirty debt and start clean again. Meanwhile, there is someone out there that wants to destroy what I was trying to build back-up again.

In other news, I was still very much in contact with the guy I had the great first date with a week ago. The guy from Jersey City and I have either messaged or spoken on the phone every day since we’ve been reunited. I was enjoying where everything was going. I wasn’t even allowing myself to wait for the other shoe to drop. Two Sunday’s ago, we were figuring out when our next date would be and I can honestly say, I was hoping it would be sooner rather than later. He told me that once he got a better grip on his calendar that he would let me know.

That Monday, the day I was dealing with my identity theft, he called to tell me that he just found out that a friend of his passed away unexpectedly. I wasn’t sure the best way to handle the situation. I offered my condolences, told him I was here if he needed me for anything and to keep me posted. His messages came in periodically throughout the day and well into the evening. He was with his friends that all knew his friend as well. He called me at the end of the evening when he got home and we spoke until he fell asleep. He was in a state of shock (rightfully so) since she was young and it was unexpected.

The next day, I was sitting at the Social Security offices in Midtown before work trying to put a freeze on my number before this person did anymore damage to my credit when I got a call from the guy. He told me that his grandfather just passed away! I couldn’t believe this poor man’s misfortune. His grandfather was ill so this was a bit more of a situation that he and his family were prepared for but two passing’s in two day’s was not something I’m sure anyone could handle. I, once again, offered my condolences, told him I was here if he needed me for anything and to keep me posted. With his unfortunate news, it was making my identity theft seem rather trite. When I got home that evening I was mentally exhausted. He called me later that evening and he was crying. I don’t like to hear anyone go through that amount of pain and so when he said, “I miss you.” I took that as my cue to offer me coming over to visit him. He said, “I would really like that. Thank you.”

After a very detailed text message on how to get to Jersey City, I was packed with an overnight bag heading to the Path Station on 33rd Street and Sixth Avenue. I had only been to Jersey City once before but that was literally ten years ago. I got off on the stop and he picked me up in his car. We drove back to his apartment to drop off my things and once we did that, we just hugged for a long time and took that moment to let things go. I felt good knowing I was making someone not worry about their current state of affairs. This wasn’t about romance, sex or anything else. This was about being supportive. We got back in his car, drove around where he showed me “the Jersey City” and we also picked up some much needed bottles of wine.

When we got back to his place he began cooking for me. A man hasn’t done this for me in a very long time. I tried to help him in the kitchen but I was only making matters worse. However, I was able to pour the wine in the glasses. We had dinner, cuddled on his couch and watched television. We went to bed that night around midnight and he held onto me the entire night. The next morning when he woke up he told me, “I haven’t slept that good in a long time.” The truth was, I felt the same way. Something felt right, comforting and maybe we were both healing ourselves by simply hanging out. I got showered, dressed and he drove me to the Path Station that would take me back to the city. Even though Jersey City is literally across the Hudson River; I couldn’t help but think I was far away from my city. I got to work and was greeted with a text message thanking me for coming over.

By the time Friday had arrived, I knew the week had kicked my ass. I was drained. I decided to take a long lunch with a coworker and it was just what I needed. When I got back to my desk, I decided to look at my checking account to see how much money I could spend for the weekend. When I looked at the computer screen, it showed that seven hundred dollars was missing! I freaked out and immediately called my bank. They informed me that someone had withdrawn the money from an ATM in Queens the night before. I was devastated, pissed off and now this person was hitting way to close to home. I left work, dealt with the bank issues and filed a claim in order to get my money back. This was not how I was expecting the weekend to begin.

After the bank episode, I decided it was time for some beauty to cheer me up. So, I went to get my hair trimmed. I sat in the chair, told the stylist what I wanted and as he began to trim with the buzzer a customer next to him got up quickly and hit my stylist’s arm. That hit caused the buzzer to clip an entire chunk of my hair completely off. The entire salon went silent because I said, “Fuck!” The owner quickly rushed over and tried to diffuse the situation. The customer that caused the accident paid and quickly left. My stylist just stood there with the buzzer in his hand and didn’t know what to do. The owner took me out of that chair and put me in his chair where he did his best to try and fix the mess. I told him, “Just buzz the damn thing completely off, its hair and will grow back.” I sat there in silence the rest of the episode and of course, they didn’t let me pay for my haircut. I walked home in a state of shock. I’m out seven hundred dollars (which was most of my rent money) and now I look like G.I. Jane.

I got in the shower and let the water wash all the tiny hairs from my buzz cut. As the water went down the drain, I was only hoping that some of the bad energy was going down the drain along with my hair. After the shower, a couple of friends of mine offered to have me over for snacks and cocktails. We talked, laughed at my hair and that went on till almost 2 a.m. I got in a cab and was excited for the next day’s activities.

Saturday, the guy was supposed to come into the city and hang out with me and my friends. However, he said he woke up not feeling “on” to be social and especially meeting my friends. I told him over the phone that I understood, there is no rush for anything and that he should be with his friends and relax.

The plan was to meet at this Holiday Inn on 57th Street where for a fee, you could use the rooftop pool. We all meet in the lobby, go up to the pool only to discover that they’ve raised the entrance fee to seventy five dollars.  It was a rip off when we read online that it was twenty five dollars to get in originally. We were a big group along with a two year old kid and complained to management. All my friends looked at me and said, “The bad luck with you continues.” After a friend went to management to explain what we read online; they allowed all of us to enter at the lower fee. I was probably never more excited to see a pool and I saw it as therapy and jumped right in. My luck was changing and I was grateful to be around my friends. When I got out of the pool a friend said, “How are you not freaking out about the identity theft, the money and everything else that happens to you?” The answer is easy, I know what matters the most for me and that is my friends, family, health and the city. Seeing that I have all of those things already, the rest, while at times can be total shit; will work itself out with patience and understanding. We spent several hours soaking up the sun and that led us to this new restaurant, Bar Bacon, on Ninth Avenue to watch the Belmont race. After the race, we all went back to a friend’s apartment to watch the Rangers game. The entire day from start to finish was what I needed to know that things are going to be alright.

Yesterday, I woke up, no set plans and while the guy had both wakes to attend to on the same day; he still managed to find time to keep me posted. I went to Central Park to enjoy some solitude, to sweat out the booze and to just be by myself. I drank nothing but water the entire day and evening. Cleansing out my body in a physical and emotional way. I wanted my week to begin fresh. Last night, before I went to bed, we spoke on the phone. I could tell that we were both exhausted from our vastly different weekends. The next date is scheduled and we both are looking forward to washing this bad energy behind us.

As the week begins the opportunity for us all to wash ourselves clean and start new is given to us. The opportunity to make things right that are wrong. Or to make amends with a situation that is unresolved. Whatever your life challenges are, we are all in possession of cleaning out the negativity and washing ourselves clean. Drink up that water!

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