"Update" NYC

Oil and Water

Anyone that knows me well enough, knows that cooking is not my strongest quality. However, being surrounded by some amazing people in my life that adore cooking and are excellent chefs. I have picked up a few things here and there. One thing that actually surprised me was the concept of oil and water and how they don’t mix. Both are in a liquid format but because of their different molecules, electrons and hydrogens…they will never mix. I guess that can be said for certain relationships out there. We may be of the same DNA but will we ever mix?

Last Monday evening at around 10 p.m., I found myself on the corner of my block waiting for my date. It was marking the second date with this guy, whom I was actually excited to see. Usually, my dates are ending around this time of night not beginning but since this guy works in the hospitality industry; the hours are different than what I’m used to.

He got out of the cab and immediately gave me a kiss and hug. Ever since our first date, we have communicated every single day. We were going to a little wine bar on Ninth Avenue called, Kashkaval. There, we sat at the bar and began updating each other on our days. It was really nice to be able to sit, relax and tell someone about my day. We were there till about midnight and over the course of our time together, we agreed that he would stay the night for the first time at some point that week. He walked me to my corner, kissed me goodbye and went home.

The next day, I was doing something that I’ve never really done before. I was going to meet with a psychic. I had booked this supposedly, “Psychic to the Stars” two months ago and it was finally my time to meet with her. She sat me down and began reading the cards. She told me some insightful things with regards to career and of course, relationships. You take these readings with a huge grain of salt but I did feel uplifted after I left.

Afterwards, I went to meet up with a friend that I don’t get to see very often and he showed me his new apartment in Chelsea. It’s great to see when someone works very hard and the rewards that come with that hard work. I was proud of him and then we had a nice dinner.

On Wednesday evening, I was back at the scene of our second date. I was sitting in the same chair, at the same Kashkaval wine bar and waiting for him to arrive. He showed up two minutes late and once again, I was greeted with a kiss and hug. We ordered and this time was slightly different. There, over wine, he began to share more about his childhood, family, and friends and where he’s at with his life. I was so relieved to be sitting next to someone that wanted to share. However, it turns out that our upbringings are certainly like the oil and water. Our childhoods, how we grew up, etc. never mixed. Nothing was similar, nothing was even remotely relatable. For some, that would be a deal breaker but for me, that only made me more attracted to him.

After we settled the bill, we walked back to my apartment. I gave him a very quick tour of my home and seeing that it was already late; we went to bed. Everything that night was totally different from the oil and water because it all mixed perfectly together. We both were comfortable, we both were relaxed and it was nice to be connected with someone on that level.

The next morning, I woke up and got ready for work while he stayed in bed. I left him there to relax, watch T.V. before he had to get ready for work. I kissed him goodbye and wasn’t too concerned that he might steal anything of mine.

That evening, I met some friends of mine at Lela Bar in the West Village. It was there that I got to meet a new man that my friend has been dating. It was there that I got hear about my other friends upcoming nuptial planning and it was there that I realized how much more of an effort I need to make to see this particular group of friends that I don’t get to see so often due to our schedules.

The weekend had finally arrived and that Friday evening I was meeting another set of friends at my favorite dive bar in the East Village…Sly Fox. I knew what the occasion was for ahead of time before the others and it was very bittersweet. One of my oldest and dearest friends was announcing to everyone that she and her boyfriend will be moving to Boston at the end of May. I told myself, that that evening would not have any tears and only laughter. I actually did a great job of not crying. Everyone was happy for them and by the end of the night, it was just her, her boyfriend and myself left standing. I gave them a hug goodbye and grabbed a cab home.

Saturday, I slept in and began running the usual errands. I wasn’t meeting my friends for a night out until nine; so I even was able to squeeze in a much needed nap. I met my friend at his apartment and by the time we decided to go out in my neighborhood, it was already midnight. We went to a few bars and toward the last stop; I realized that I lost my house keys. I had to call my roommate at 2:45 a.m. to ask him to let me in, so that I could get my extra set of keys. I SHOULD have just stayed home but I went back out for one more with my friends and we all said our goodbyes somewhere around 3:30 a.m.

Yesterday morning and I wish I was able to sleep in but there was no rest for the weary. I had organized a few friends of mine to help with cleaning my friends’ apartment in Brooklyn, who lost his mother recently. We did an excellent job and when he comes home today; he will be happy that it’s one less thing for him to worry about as he gets adjusted back to his city life.

After everyone left, I was having my fourth date with this great guy. He, ironically, lives around the corner from my friend’s apartment. He picked me up, where I was once again greeted with a kiss and hug. The plan was that he was going to take me to this beer garden in the area called, Black Forest. He held my hand the walk over there and even said, “It’s been a long time since I’ve held someone’s hand and it’s nice.” The weather was finally showing that spring had finally arrived and everything just seemed like it was mixing well for us both.

We got a table right away and ordered our beers. Over the beers, I wanted to know more about this guy and he said that he was an open book and he wasn’t lying. He shared some of his past and like all of our pasts; some of it was dark and heavy. Again, we grew up totally differently and I listened carefully and when he was finished sharing; he said how easy it was to tell me these things.

I didn’t want to leave the guy hanging out there all exposed and so I told him some of my dark past. When I was finished, he said, “Ok. Now my life doesn’t seem so bad at all.” We got a good laugh out of our misery and decided to enjoy the weather and walk around a bit. Again, he held my hand and I felt content. We were definitely mixing well on this fourth date. He needed to pick some things up at Best Buy and afterwards, he suggested we have just one more drink before I go back to the city.

We went to this cute bar called, Berlyn, and there we did some more confessing. He told me that he really has enjoyed our time together and then he said something that moved me. He looked at me and said, “I haven’t dated in awhile. I really like you and if you can please be patient with me for this feels new to me.” I told him that I had no intentions of going anywhere. He gave me a kiss and there we decided that he would stay over at my place at some point this week. He walked me to the subway station and gave me another kiss and hug. It was a heavy date but I was glad that we were able to share, not scare each other and be excited about seeing what the next date holds.

Over the course of our journey in life, we will, unfortunately come across people or situations that we simply don’t mix well with. No matter how hard you try, one of you will be the oil and other will be the water. I guess, the most important thing in this short life that we have on earth is that we do our best to find that ingredient that we do mix well with.

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