"Update" NYC

Making Room

In a city like New York where unless you are wealthy or down right lucky, space isn’t exactly what our homes are known for. We can make the tiniest rooms seem grand. We know how to make the most out of our limited space which is probably why are streets can be so crowded, we all leave our tiny apartments and roam the streets because the streets of the city can often times be our escape. We treat coffee shops like our second bedrooms and our parks are basically our living rooms with an endless supply of entertainment. With our countless resources in order to make the tiniest of rooms seem like a mansion, I couldn’t help but think about the correlation with tiny spaces and making room in our hearts. Just how easy it to make room in your heart?

After spending three days in a row last week with the same guy who helped nurse me back to health after my battle with the nasty flu. I thought for sure that once the Lysol dust had finally settled that he would either have lost interest or would need a break from me. Turns out, things were moving along just fine. While he was moving from Harlem to Brooklyn last Tuesday, I was in the beginning stages of making room in my life for someone that actually wanted to see me. Not always an easy thing to do when your life is built on being social or the fact that you’ve been single for a long period of time.

However, last Wednesday, my original plan was to meet up with a friend for dinner but he confessed that he was coming down with a cold and there was no way I wanted to relapse so we rescheduled for another time. That left my Wednesday evening free to myself and it just so happened that right around the time that my friend had to reschedule that I got a message from the guy. Seeing that we were both free, we agreed to meet at the bar, Posh, for a few drinks. We literally had two drinks each but in that time period, it felt really nice to be with someone and to have a nice conversation with. The age difference between us, no longer bothered me and once I was able to let that go; I was able to actually sit and enjoy getting to know this guy. After the drinks, I walked him to his subway stop and we agreed that we would get together on Sunday evening and work out the details later.

The next day, I didn’t hear from him at all and my neurotic emotions began to slowly creep in. I wasn’t sure why I was allowing these negative thoughts creep in, given how much time we’ve already spent together but those thoughts were alive and well. At the end of the work day, I was relieved when a friend wanted to go have a drink and I owed him drinks anyhow since I missed his birthday party. We met at the bar, Therapy, and there we had a few beers and updated each other. It wasn’t a late night, which I was happy with because I had a sneaky feeling that I would more than make up for my lack of late nights by the time the weekend came.

On Friday, the weather was odd for the city. We actually had fog and it was thick. It made me slightly concerned because I was meeting Feathers at 4 p.m. at his apartment to drive out to his country house. By the time noon had rolled around, I still hadn’t heard a single thing from the guy and so I wasn’t sure if Sunday was even happening. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and I sent him a light and breezy message asking how he was doing and if Sunday was still on. Not a word. Silence. I was certain that something had shifted but wasn’t sure what specifically since neither one of us had done anything wrong to upset or scare the other person. There was nothing more I could do except put the damn phone away and focus on getting out to the country to have a nice, relaxing and fun weekend.

Four hours later, we finally had arrived at Feathers country house. The intense fog and black ice had everyone on the roads extra cautious and rightfully so because there was several accidents along the commute. It wasn’t until we were grocery shopping for the weekend that I noticed I got a message and it was from the guy. He said he hadn’t looked at his phone the entire day that was how busy he was and that Sunday sounded like so much fun and couldn’t wait. Whew. I was able to calm down and relax. By the time our other friend arrived at the country house, we were all spent. So, we just opened up a huge bottle of wine, had dinner and talked till 1 a.m. We all went to bed that night exhausted and didn’t have a thing to worry about the next day.

We all didn’t wake up till well past 10 a.m. which is late for all of us. Apparently, we all needed the rest. All of us quickly showered, got our coffee and decided to head into town to go bowling.  The good thing about being in the country is that you don’t have to worry about how you look, in fact, the sloppier the better. Which was fine by me and so we were the only three people bowling, drinking and eating bar food. It was such a joy and I hadn’t laughed like that in what felt like a really long time. After the bowling, we decided to stop in at this local brewery and this is where things, of course, took a turn.

When you come from a big city, it takes a few minutes to adjust to the country life. Not every bar is going to be packed, drinks will be cheaper and the folks tend to be friendlier. As the three of us positioned ourselves at the bar; a big group of people came up to us and started chatting with us. It was two straight couples and a single straight guy. Only one of the couples was from the city and the rest were locals. We watched these people do several shots of tequila while we stuck to our beer. We arrived at the bar around 6 and fast forward to the time being past 11 p.m. and let’s just say every single one of us were three sheets to the wind. I was harassing a local band that was playing, while another friend of mine was putting in her purse the bowls that the popcorn was being served in. Before we know it, we were inviting these strangers back to the country house so that we could play games and of course…drink some more.

Just like in our high school days, we waited at the local gas station for everyone to get in their cars and pull it together in order to follow us down the long and dark dirt roads. We brought the party back to Feathers and there we made flaming shots, drank beers, wine and played cards till about 1 a.m. when it was time for everyone to go home. After everyone left, we realized that we hadn’t really eaten the entire day which was why we all got so drunk. It was worth it, everyone had a great time and we actually made room in our lives to meet new people.

Yesterday, all three of us woke up with a hangover. The Advil was passed around, the coffee was poured and the greasy breakfast was had all in order to help us feel better which it did. I had also managed to get confirmation from the dude that he was going to be at my apartment at 6 o’clock that evening. Feathers and I closed the house and hit the road. Over three hours later, he dropped me off at my apartment at 5:30 which gave me only a half hour to unpack, shower and get ready for his arrival. Thankfully, right before I was jumping in the shower, the guy sent a message that he was running late. Usually, that’s my message I send to people but I was relieved to have received it from him because I was able to get everything done by the time he rang my buzzer.

Even though, I had seen him only three days prior, it also felt like I had done so much between the last time I saw him and last evening. The minute he walked in the door, he gave me a kiss and hug before he even took his coat and hat off. I asked, “Are you ok?” and he replied with, “I am now.” It was marking the first time that I was allowing a guy I was hanging out with, to officially sleep over at my apartment. The most shocking thing was that it felt totally and utterly comfortable. We went to my room and updated each other about our weekends and I was enjoying every single minute. Now, we were both hungry and so we ordered take-out, rented a movie and cuddled on the couch until almost midnight. He told me that he wants to take me out this upcoming weekend just because I’ve been so fun and kind. I went to bed that night with his arms around me and we didn’t let go until this morning. I was late for work and didn’t even realize it. It was odd having someone walk with me to the office but also extremely nice that someone was wishing me to have a good day. Only about an hour ago, did I get a message from him thanking me for a fun time last night. Not only had I made room in my life to get to know someone but I also made room in my bedroom for someone to sleep over.

Making room in your life, when most people are either stubborn or set in their ways can be challenging. It can be unsettling at times but in the same token, it can also be the most rewarding thing we do. Because when you make room in your life, we are allowing space so that other things can happen in our lives. Some of the things will be good and some will be totally wrong for us but if we don’t make room how will ever gain more space?

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