"Update" NYC

The Art of Letting Go

Every single day of our lives we are faced with the concept of letting things go, whether that is the ending of a relationship, the loss of a loved one, not getting that job you were so hopeful for or even losing those pesky pounds you might have gained over Thanksgiving. Many times the things we have to learn to let go of, we have no control over. Which of course, is one of the reasons why learning to let go can be a hard concept for some of us to grasp. While letting go of things that are important to us, is never an easy or graceful act, I couldn’t but wonder if there is an art to letting go.

I think I speak for most that last week was all about letting go. We let go of our diets, we let go of not drinking so much, we let go of our responsibility from work for a few days. And just for those few days, we let the stress of life and anything else that worries us in general take a back seat and we all just focus on what matters most to us…being thankful.

For me, I actually might like Thanksgiving more than Christmas. I love the meal, I love knowing that I will be surrounded by my friends and knowing that another wonderful holiday is just around the corner. By the time last Wednesday rolled around, I was ready to start the festivities.

As most know, dating during the holiday season is downright impossible, from their travels to yours, to the holiday parties and that pesky thing we call…work. So, last week, was thankfully quiet on the dating front. Which gave me plenty of time to work on friendships and I wasted no time with getting right down to business.

I didn’t work on Wednesday and so therefore, I was able to help my friend that would be hosting Thanksgiving, as he does every year. We were also thankful because a friend of ours would be flying in from Los Angeles that morning to celebrate with us not only Thanksgiving but her 40th birthday. I finished all my errands and jumped on the Q train heading to Brooklyn. I even brought an overnight bag because I know myself and my friends well enough that it would end up getting too late for me and I would have to be back in Brooklyn early the next morning anyhow.

When I arrived at my friend’s apartment, I immediately got right down to my only duty…cleaning. We cleaned and of course, the wine was open while we all pitched in. One more quick trip to the grocery store just to make sure we had everything we needed and a quick freshening up and we decided to give the Thanksgiving prep a break and jump in cab to a bar. We were meeting a new couple that was friends of our visitor in from Los Angeles. We arrived to the bar called, Excelsior in Park Slope and after a few rounds of beers there, we crossed the street to another bar called, Ginger’s, and played pool. It was getting late and we still had so much work to do the next morning before everyone would be arriving so we called it a night and were all in bed and tucked in by midnight.

Thursday aka Thanksgiving and we all got up early after a proper night rest (the only proper night rest any of us would have for the remainder of the weekend). All of us took to our jobs and the apartment was clean and the other friends that were prepping started to show up. The guests were all told to arrive by 6 p.m. I don’t think our turkey breast was even in the oven until 8 p.m. Somehow and someway, we all lost track of time. The place was crowded with all of our friends and a constant flow of people coming in and out the entire night. By the time it was actually time to eat, it was very easy to say that everyone was 100% drunk off their asses. There was no grace said, there was simply a yelling over everyone to come and serve your selves. Once dessert came around (which had to been around 11 p.m.) I am not sure anyone even knew their names. I also had managed to accidentally throw away our out of town’s guest’s special sauce that went on her dessert that she worked so hard to make (oops).  The party was beginning to slightly slow down by 1:30 or 2 a.m. and thankfully my friend called for a car service and my friends made sure we all got home safely. It was certainly an evening of letting go all our worries and our only concern was making sure everyone was happy and got home safely.

Friday and it might have been all the food I consumed as to why I wasn’t hung over but I had so much to do. During the day, I knew all my friends would be occupied and so I took advantage of the gym, doing my laundry that I desperately ignored and getting a haircut. That evening our plan was for ten of us to celebrate our friend’s 40th birthday party with dinner at, Alta, in the village. We all sat down and updated each other and next thing I know, wine is poured and everyone is laughing and of course…getting loud. My back was turned to the entire restaurant but by the time we all left, I am sure the rest of the establishment was grateful we were leaving. The meal was amazing and let’s just say we spent a lot of money, to rack up a $1,200 bill isn’t an easy thing to do but that is what happened. The birthday girl was happy, thankful, and appreciative and was beaming which is all that mattered.

We all decided that since it was so cold that evening in the city and no one wanted to walk far, to just head over to this tacky bar called, Pieces. Once again, we took over another bar and rounds of tequila shots were ordered. I don’t know how we did it but we did and everyone was having a wonderful time. The crazy thing was that since we all knew that the next day we had another party to go to that we called it an early night…well…at least early for us, 1 a.m. I was just drunk enough that I thought taking the subway would be my best bet. I forced myself to stand up on the ride home and not sit down so I wouldn’t fall asleep. I got home safe and sound.

Saturday and now actually starting to feel worn out, between Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and now Saturday; the body was starting to tell me to slow down. There were several text messages to everyone that Saturday will not be a late night. We will not get drunk. And we will just go over to our friend’s apartment that was hosting a post-Thanksgiving party and we leave at a descent hour. Everyone was in agreement.

I arrive to the party, wine is poured and at the beginning of the party I was glad that I was sticking with my plan by not getting drunk. It was also nice to see some friends that were unable to make it on Thursday.  After about an hour, a few more glasses of wine later and my friend visiting from Los Angeles, arrives with a new person. It is a guy she used to attend college with that drove into town to see her for her birthday. The minute I was introduced, I was instantly attracted to him. We talked and as the conversation continued I could actually feel my friends starting at me. They were smiling and giggling like school girls watching the connection happen. The guy confessed to me that he was engaged but that he and his fiancé have an understanding. Which is gay code means they are in an open relationship.

The party was a hit and now well…everyone is drunk. We said goodbye to our hosts and all decided to walk to the bar, Hardware; which I was glad for since it is only a few blocks away from my apartment. Another drink later and the guy from Boston said he couldn’t really drink anymore since his car is parked in the village and still needed to drive back to Brooklyn where he was staying at my friend’s apartment. I told my other friend’s that I should be leaving but everyone insisted I go back to Brooklyn to see where things might lead. I had no reason to go all the way back to Brooklyn since I was only a few blocks away from my apartment.

Before I knew it, I was in a cab heading to West 10th Street with my friend, the friend from Los Angeles and the guy from Boston. We picked up the car and are headed to Brooklyn. Once we found a parking space, the guy from Boston opened the trunk of his car and in it was a few bottles of champagne and I had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

All four of us are now playing a card game on my friend’s bed and drinking the expensive champagne. Next thing I know it is 3:30 a.m. also known as time for bed since my friend from Los Angeles needed to be at JFK the next day for an 11:00 a.m. flight. Now it was time to figure out the sleeping arrangements. My friend whose apartment we were crashing was going to sleep on the couch and the three of us were going to sleep in his bed. There I was sandwiched between my girlfriend and the guy from Boston.

With my girlfriend snoring on one side of me and the attractive guy from Boston on the other, I didn’t know where I should rest my head. I opted to sleep on my side facing Boston. Letting go of the track of time and letting go of my reservations…Boston and I began to make out while my girlfriend slept inches away from me. It was insane, it was taboo but most of all…it was fun. Suffice to say, making out led to a lot more, again, with my friend mere inches away. Boston and I thought we were high school kids getting away with murder. We finally fell asleep in an embrace and morning wasn’t too far away from beginning.

Sunday morning, waking up in a somewhat strangers arms and my girlfriend on the other side of me starting to wake up. No words were spoken at first and finally my girlfriend turned to us and said, “Seems like you boys had a good time last night.” Busted and blushing uncontrollably. Everyone had a very loud chuckle at the entire situation with my friend sleeping on the couch just shaking his head. The entire situation was not planned, nor was it even on my radar. It was an experience that sometimes you have no control over but every once in awhile you must let go and let whatever happens simply happen. I said goodbye to my friend and Boston and took my very exhausted ass home. The rest of the day, I had only the energy to shower and plant my ass on the couch and clean out the DVR. However, I did receive a sweet message from Boston once he got home and it said how nice it was to meet me and he now knows why everyone loves me.

As the week begins, we all know that are main focus now will be trying to let go of the pounds we might have gained from too much festivities but it still doesn’t change the fact that we are constantly having to let things go. There is no science that backs the concept of how to let certain events or life altering things go in our life. There is also no art of letting go. There is no control over those types of events but we do have control over is how we react. How we behave. How we treat another person. How we cope. How we process. Maybe that is it…when we let things go, we allow for other things to happen in our lives.

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