"Update" NYC

The Dating Game

We all know the game show setup. A bachelor or bachelorette would sit behind a wall and ask questions to three potential dates and afterwards, the date was chosen and the match would be made. Nowadays, we don’t have Chuck Woolery to guide us in finding a great first date. Now, in order to find a date we must rely on friends, work, blind dates, online dating and now that we’ve become lazy with online dating there are dating apps now. With all of these new found ways to meet “the one”, I couldn’t help but think when it comes to these games we play in dating…Who’s the winner and who’s the loser?

As I’ve mentioned, I recently jumped on the dating app band wagon. I dragged my feet with it because I felt like online dating was zany enough. However, once the profile was created and I logged in, instantly my dating life changed. I began to learn new dating lingo because people speak totally different on these apps rather than online or even in person. By the time last Monday rolled around, I was ready to sit on the other side of the wall and begin the Dating Game…

Bachelor #1: We had been chatting and it was flirtatious but not over the top, which was just what I was looking for. We had finally agreed to meet last Monday at Posh (one of his favorite bars) at 6 p.m. for a few drinks. We both arrived at the same time, which was good because I hate looking around for someone and basically telling the world that I am on a first date. We ended up sitting in the back of the bar and he got the first round of beers. We talked a great deal about the dating app itself, I found myself asking questions and they were boarder line interview questions about his experience, so I had to bring it back to dating mode. Bachelor #1 had recently turned 40 and was dealing with the questions of “What the hell am I doing with my life?” I found myself having a nice enough time. I wasn’t falling head over heels for him but let’s face it, having that kind of experience on a first date is rather rare. After three beers, we decided to call it a night. He walked me to the corner of my block and on the walk he asked if he could take me out to dinner some time. I agreed, we kissed and later on he sent a text message confessing that he had a good time. Will I see him again? Yes. In fact, it might be tonight.

Bachelor #2: This one I was already hesitant in meeting because one of his text messages said, “I hope you can change my single status.” However, I decided to give this one a chance because you never can tell if that text was a joke or not. Not one of the perks of texting trying to decide the meaning of the message. Sometimes deciphering the meaning of a text is like trying to break the Da Vinci Code. We agreed to meet at one of my favorite wine bars, Xai Xai. When we arrived, again, both arriving at the same time; the place was crowded. While I just wanted the date to be wine only, we could only get a table unless we ordered something. So we sat down and ordered wine and a few appetizers. When the food arrived, he began to break it apart, putting the bread aside, and quickly moving from wine to vodka sodas. I had a feeling there was some underlying meaning to why he was eating and drinking the way he was. Turns out, the man actually used to be very heavy set and had lost a lot of weight. We did manage to talk about the usual topics but we spent a good portion of the time discussing his journey on weight lost and keeping it off, etc. While I was being supportive and listening to him talk about his journey, I found myself drifting off. As I was doing my best to pay attention, I did notice my date’s eyes getting bigger and bigger. Turns out, I put my coat behind me and there were candles burning and the zipper of my coat caught on fire which then led the fire to catch onto the paper that was surrounding the candle. A waiter quickly ran over and put a towel over it and put the small fire out. My zipper/coat was ruined but at least no one was hurt. I told my date that there is never a dull moment when I am involved. He laughed and we got the check. As we stood on Ninth Avenue waiting for a cab to present itself so he could go back to Brooklyn, he wanted a hug. I gave him a hug and he took a deep breath in. He pulled away and said, “Gosh, you smell good. I have this smelling fetish and was wondering if I could smell you again.” I pulled back, hailed the cab for him and told him, “No. I don’t think that is a good idea.” The next day, I sent him a message wishing him the best of luck on his search.

Bachelor #3: Our communication had been very spotty due to work and our personal schedules but we had finally agreed to meet last Wednesday at Therapy. We both live very close to each other and figured that would be easiest for us both. I arrived first but he arrived shortly behind me. I was instantly attracted to him and I couldn’t tell if he felt the same. We both went with vodka and began our date. The conversation flowed and we began sharing stories of our families and I was really having a wonderful time. The only snag is that he is going away for two weeks on a vacation and we all know the dating world that is the kiss of death. When you meet someone and then aren’t available, you lose the momentum and it dies. After three vodka’s later, we both were feeling slightly buzzed and decided to call it a night. We kissed outside and I wished him a safe trip. Since then we’ve exchanged a few messages but what happens next we will never know. Maybe we will find out in two weeks.

Bachelor #4 (yes, #4): I decided to take Friday off from work and managed to run errands and enjoy a much needed day off. The plan for Friday was 6 pm, the date with Bachelor #4, followed by picking up a friend and then heading over to a friends’ house together for dinner. Now, in regards to Bachelor #4, he has had some of the best texts I have received in a long time. He is funny, witty and from what I could from his photos he was also handsome. He knew the time restrictions and was totally alright with them. We agreed to meet in Chelsea to gain time since that is where my dinner was. We both teased each other about being late all the time for things and did our best to get to, Bar Veloce, on time. I arrived at exactly 6 on the dot and he was just a few minutes late due to his Google maps being screwed up. I was instantly attracted to him, even though he wasn’t my usual type. We ordered our drinks and began talking, sometimes even talking over each other. He even quoted one of my favorite movies of all time, Pretty Woman. I was bummed that the hour we had was going so quickly but we agreed to meet up again. He paid the bill and said, “Don’t be silly. I was the one that asked you out. I got this” Again, something that is rare these days. I walked him to the subway and I walked to meet my friends. As of now, our second date is for this upcoming Friday.

By the time, I dropped Bachelor #4 off at 23rd and Seventh Avenue, I was exhausted. It was Friday and I had managed to go on four dates with four different men and still squeezed in time to see some friends. I picked up my friend at his new apartment and had one drink there before having to walk over to attend my friends Shabbat dinner. He was cooking for several of us and it was a big production. The food was utterly amazing, the wine continued to flow and before you know it, we all wanted to unbutton our pants and pass out. It was a wonderful way to bookend a rather busy week.

Saturday. No dates (whew). I did the gym, ran errands and convinced some friends to come out that night. I felt like I missed them all week and needed to do something other than say things like, “So, where are you from?” Or, “How long have you lived in the city now?” A few friends met at the bar, Barrage, which was packed and after that everything just snow balled. Barrage led to Hardware and Hardware led to dancing at Industry. When I checked my phone and saw it read: 3:45 a.m., I knew I had to go home before I heard the heinous words of, “Last call.” I did a quiet exit and took myself home to pass out.

Crazy enough, I woke up yesterday with no hangover and feeling good. Yes. I was exhausted but I also knew I had a brunch at 12:30. I got to the Standard Grill and met some friends for a sober brunch. Yes…I said sober brunch. I just couldn’t drink anymore nor did I want to. The brunch was filled with laughter, we all were crying from laughing so hard and it really was the perfect way to end the weekend. The weather in the city was gloomy with misty rain coming down. In an effort to not feel like a cow, a friend and I decided to walk our brunch off and walked the High Line and up to Hell’s Kitchen. I dropped her off and went home and there I got my blanket and cleared out the DVR for the rest of the day.
The Dating Game. It’s not a game for everyone. It takes thick skin, knowing what questions to ask and paying attention to the signs. In the beginning I asked, who’s the winner and who’s the loser, when it comes to this game we all play. The real winner is ourselves. We know the questions to ask, we know what strategies we are going into use in the game and we also know what we are looking for. Having these tactics in place will help playing the Dating Game just a little bit more fun!

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