"Update" NYC


A good friend of mine over the weekend asked me what this week’s “UpDate” was going to be about and most of the time my inspiration for this blog doesn’t hit me until I hear or see something that triggers what the theme will be. It was at a party that he said, “Sea of Change” and for whatever reason, I loved those words together. So, I looked up what it meant and it couldn’t be more accurate for what we all are in the midst of. “Sea-Change” is a poetic or informal term meaning a gradual transformation in which the form is retained but the substance is replaced and in this case it is transformed with a marvelous petrification.

As you can see, “UpDateNYC” has also had a bit of a “Sea-Change” in itself. I have been working with a great team to redesign the layout along with Facebook and this Twitter thing. There are still a few things to work out, this is technology after all, but this is just the beginning of what’s to come! With a new fall season upon us, I couldn’t help but get excited for what’s ahead not only for myself but for my friends, family and for the blog itself.

There was certainly something in the air last week, all around me, I was faced with changes. All my friends and family were going through major life changes that ranged from losing jobs, gaining jobs, looking for apartments and going on first dates. I even had one friend attend her first dating mixer. As each one of my friends kept updating me on their new found adventures, I couldn’t help but be a little selfish and wonder when the hell my next adventure was going to begin.

As last week began, I saw my calendar and realized that I had something going on almost every single night and suddenly one by one the plans began to fall through because of everyone’s personal agendas. Sometimes in life, one of the hardest things to do is to be happy for someone else when your life seems to be at a standstill. However, when you stand by the people you love through the bad times, you must be there to celebrate the good times as well. It can be a tough lesson to live through at times but you only want the same in return when the time comes for you to shine.

There are times when the weekend can be more exhausting than the work week itself and this past weekend was certainly no exception. All during the week, the guy from Oklahoma, whom I had two nice dates with, had come down with a cold. Therefore, our plans to see each other also fell through. He told me that if he was feeling better by the weekend that we would certainly find the time to see each other. I took it as a good sign that Oklahoma’s best friend had been texting me all through the week and even invited me to watch football with her on Saturday. I told myself that I wasn’t going to over analyze anything and let the chips fall where they land.

Friday night and I was standing in line at Trader Joe’s picking up five bottles of wine to bring over to my friends’ apartment because he would be cooking dinner for a few of us. It was just the night I was looking for and needed. My plan was to come over, drink wine, eat food and have great conversation and be home at a descent hour. Well, before I know it…all five bottles of wine are gone, including a few additional bottles and the clock is reading 3:30 a.m. I made sure my friends’ kitchen was clean (since I didn’t cook) and I grabbed my bag and hailed a cab. How on earth did the time move so quickly I will never know but it was already later than I had originally planned to stay out.

Woke up the next morning and wasn’t sure if I was going to hear from Oklahoma or not and decided to do some yoga to clear out all the toxins from the previous night. I had finished with my class and there was a message from him saying, “Good morning(ish).”  We exchanged a few messages and by the end, it was resolved that he would call me when he was leaving Brooklyn to head into the city. Somehow there was a breakdown in communication and he thought I was already with his friends watching the football game but I was down in Soho shopping. I called him and just wanted to make sure that he still wanted to hangout and he said that it would be really nice to see me and to come on up. I jumped on the 6 train and headed toward Midtown.

When I arrived to the corner of 52nd Street and Second Avenue a wave of memories flashed before me. I had lived in that very same street with an ex of mine that ended badly. I had managed to avoid that area ever since I left him many years ago but no matter how long you have lived in New York and dated in this city, there will be certain restaurants, stores and streets that will trigger the senses. However, I managed to pull myself together because I was no longer that person years ago and I was on my way to see a man that had already treated me better than my ex ever did and that after only two dates. I arrived to the sports bar, Traffic, and it was loud. When I entered the bar, there was a little man dancing on the bar along with a woman in bootie shorts and a bottle of Grey Goose giving shots to people during the commercial break. It was 3 p.m. and the crowd at the bar was certainly in the celebratory mood. I knew that I had plans later on and stuck with beer so that I wouldn’t get drunk.

I could tell that Oklahoma was still recovering from being sick because he appeared to be tired. We did the best to make do with the situation of screaming fans, drunken people and us trying to carry on a conversation. He certainly appeared to still be interested in me for I noticed his body language was flirtatious with me and he was taking pictures of me with his friends. I felt really bad because I could tell that he was still under the weather and probably should be at home getting rest. After a couple of hours, we both couldn’t take the noise anymore and agreed to leave. I walked him to the subway, we hugged goodbye and said we would see each other soon. It was a vague goodbye but I probably would have said the same thing if I was not feeling 100%. I went home and took a power nap before having to get ready to go out.

That night was my friends’ birthday party that was being held at him and his, now fiancés’, apartment. Lucky for me, I didn’t need to travel far because they live just a few blocks away from me. The apartment got crowded pretty quickly but it was so nice to see everyone and the drinks were certainly flowing. A couple of hours and several cocktails later, then the rain had started to come down. That didn’t stop us from thinking it would be a good idea to head over to the bar, Industry, to go dancing. I wasn’t even sure what time it was when we got to the bar but the music was good, some more friends of ours where there already and we just danced our asses off. Then my body just started to get tired and I decided somewhere around 2 a.m. to call it a night. My body had had enough and was craving rest. I ran home in the rain, took a sleeping pill and passed out.

I was grateful that the only thing I had on my agenda for Sunday was to attend a brunch with my girlfriends in the village. After getting a proper amount of rest, I took a long shower and decided that with the nice weather to walk from my apartment to Amity Hall, where brunch was going to be. I got there early, decided to have a beer to help ease any leftover hangover I had and it did the trick. I also managed to exchange a few text messages with Oklahoma where we accomplished that based on both of our schedules this week and the upcoming weekend that we would do our best to see each other soon. Once that was all said and done, I put the phone away and focused on all my friends that had just entered the restaurant. We drank unlimited mimosas and blood mary’s for a few hours and once we settled the bill, we all went our separate ways. When we exited the restaurant and the sun hit our faces, we all realized just how tipsy we all were. I needed to walk off the buzz and so I decided to walk home and enjoy the sunshine. I got home and was exhausted; I wasn’t leaving that couch for the rest of the night.

Whether or not we want to accept the changes that happen in our lives, is sometimes not an option. Life forces our hands to embrace the change and move forward.  How we handle the changes determines what “sea-change” we will, in exchange, get back from the universe. We all have certain characteristics that sometimes highlight the things we don’t want the world to see, like our insecurities, imperfections and embarrassing moments and we already know that nobody is perfect but that doesn’t mean that each day we can’t do our best to achieve something marvelous.

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