"Update" NYC

If The Shoe Fits

Cinderella, Carrie Bradshaw and Wonder Woman all had one thing in common and that is killer footwear. And coincidentally these ladies were also some of my idols growing up. So, I guess it is no shock to me or anyone else that there is a correlation in my thinking process about shoes and relationships. Cinderella lost her glass slipper and the Prince found her and they lived happily ever after, Carrie accepted Mr. Big’s proposal with the slip of a Manolo Blahnik and Wonder Woman needed to get around in her sexy red boots in order to save the world. We have all had to shop for that perfect shoe, to go with the perfect outfit so is our search for the perfect shoe any different than our search for the perfect “sole”mate?

Last week I found myself doing a lot of reflecting and revisiting. After my two great dates with the guy my girlfriend fixed me up with, it had been reduced to texting and with the search of him asking to see me again which led to nothing. So, by the time Thursday had rolled around, I suddenly found myself meeting someone from earlier this year, Mr. Engineer. He sent a text earlier in the week, which led to an invite for wine on Thursday. We decided to meet at the same spot where we had our last date a few months ago in Chelsea at, Bocca di Bacco. I had arrived just a few minutes prior to him but as my luck would have it; while I was sitting at the bar waiting for Mr. Engineer to arrive, a guy I had gone on a few dates two months ago was there at the bar…Mr. M. We made small talk and Mr. M. asked what I was doing there and I told him I was waiting for a friend. Finally, Mr. Engineer shows up and I do the proper introductions and as soon as Mr. M. leaves, it was only natural for Mr. Engineer to ask how I know that guy. I was honest and to my relief, it didn’t seem to faze him too much.

We order a few glasses of wine and began to update each other. Of course the topic of our relationship comes up and I avoid it because I was under the impression this was just a friendly drink or at least trying to build a friendship rather than romance. When the bill comes, we noticed that none of my drinks that I was ordering was on the bill, just Mr. Engineer’s drinks. We ask the bartender if he had made a mistake and his response was, “No. His drinks are on me because he has a great smile.” That was certainly sweet considering I probably had three glasses of wine. After we or shall I say, after Mr. Engineer settled his bill; he suggested we go to another bar. I figured since we are in Chelsea we would stay local but he wanted to go to this bar I had never even been to before, Uncle Charlie’s. We grab a cab and head over. He tells me he is nervous about going to this bar because this is where he met his ex and that he fears he might be there. I told him right away that I am not going to some bar to witness any drama. He assured me that he was fine with it and so we went. Once inside, the bartenders recognized Mr. Engineer right away and asked where he had been for so long. I thought he was going to give a vague answer but he just let it out that he was nervous about running into his ex, he began asking the bartender if the ex still came into the establishment, etc. I needed a drink fast because I didn’t know if this date was going to turn into a therapy session or not. Once the drinks had arrived I did my best to defuse the ex boyfriend talk. Instead, we paid attention to the karaoke singers and continued to drink. As the night went on and the bar began to fill up, some people he remembered from the past started talking to us, asking us what we are and he would say things like, “Well, we tried to date but this guy dropped me.” It was apparent that this night needed to end soon because his issues were deep and I wasn’t about to become a therapist at 11:30 at night. I told him that I needed to go and he agreed but wanted a kiss before we called it a night. We kissed and when he pulled away, I didn’t feel anything. I told myself on the way home in the cab that I was trying to figure out if there was anything there to build on and it was like trying to fit your foot in a smaller size shoe. It leaves you feeling uncomfortable and in pain and who the hell wants that.

Waking up on Friday, only feeling slightly sluggish from all the wine and the Mr. Engineer fiasco; I pushed through the day knowing that the weekend had a lot of fun things in store. That night a few friends of mine were going to see fashion designer, Isaac Mizrahi’s one man show on 42nd Street. To all of our surprise, we actually had a fun time and enjoyed the entertainment. Afterwards, we decided to do a lot of bar hopping. We first hit up, Ninth Avenue Saloon, and as my luck would continue, I see the guy I had a few fun dates with from that singles event I attended a few Sunday’s ago. He was on a date and from what I could see, it was a rather good date that he was on. He was looking at the guy the way you want your date to look at you. The look of attentiveness with just a hint of lust and when he recognized that I was in the bar as well, he smiled and I smiled back. It was a smile of telling him that while we never made it to date number three; I am glad you are on a great date. We finished our beers and quickly made our exit to the next three bars for the night.

Saturday and the city was alive by 11 a.m. The sun was out and it had finally passed fifty degrees with sunshine. I was meeting several friends of mine for our first picnic in Central Park and I couldn’t be happier. It was the perfect way to start the new season and the weekend for that matter. Our friend’s ninth month old son pretty much stole the show and I held him 90% of the time. We ate, drank and let the sunshine hit our skin and it felt amazing. After the picnic and all of us going our separate ways; I decided to try and take a quick cat nap before getting ready for the night out on the town. Went to pick up my friends in Chelsea and we decided to get some food at Maryann’s before doing our best to paint the town red. We picked the location of the West Village and started out at Ty’s bar (bust) and then walked down to Rockbar (another bust) and finally we accepted our defeat and grabbed a cab taking us to Barracuda. This night was quickly becoming one of those nights where nothing epic was going to happen. Just as I was ready to call it a night, my ex-roommate walks in the door and suddenly my spirits were lifted. A shot of tequila, a beer and suddenly we were all laughing and talking up a storm. It was getting late and we all decided to say our goodbyes. As I jumped in the cab and told the driver where to go, it occurred to me that while nothing monumental might have happened that night, the people I was surrounded myself with, fit like the perfect shoe.

Yesterday was another glorious day weather wise and spring was finally starting to present itself here in Manhattan. I even forced myself to not just sit and read the paper but get out and have a long run in the park before having to get ready for an event that my editor asked me to attend. It was the same singles event I attended last month. I was dreading on going because I didn’t want to lose the day but I had no real excuse not to go other than telling my editor this would be my last one because I didn’t want to give up my Sunday’s now that the weather was shifting.

I get to the event and it wasn’t that busy and probably because no one else wanted to give up the nice weather as well. I decided to make the most of it and ordered a cocktail. The host of the event thanked me for coming and said that already a lot of men were asking him what my situation was. It was the same as last time where I was meeting a ton of men but none that actually made me want to go on a date with. I smiled, I was polite, I accepted their business cards, phone numbers on napkins but I felt guilty in accepting them knowing that I wasn’t going to do anything with them. I went to the bar for another drink when I felt someone from behind me say, “Hey Alex. Nice seeing you here. You look great.” I turn around and barely recognize the man but it was the guy that I met that on our first and only date where he wanted to marry me and diaper me. I did everything I could to control my facial reaction because in my head I just thought, “Come on. You have got to be kidding me.” He went onto to say, “While we didn’t work out. You are a catch and I already told the host this information.” I told him that it was a very kind thing for him to say and wished him luck at the event. By the time 8 p.m. rolled around, I had hit my limit of smiling and meeting new people. I excused myself and went home.

As we all go through life searching for that perfect shoe, perfect job, perfect apartment and even the perfect person there will be times when we think something fits but it doesn’t and times when you finally find it and you hold onto it. But there was something that was said to me this past week by an artist and it’s how we should view life sometimes and it goes…

“Once the shoe fits, we forget about the foot.”


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