"Update" NYC

It’s Gonna Be Alright

When we are kids and we fall down, it’s our parents that pick us up off the ground and tell us things like, “It’s gonna be alright” in order for us to stop crying. As our tears subside and the pain goes away, we forget all about the fact that we fell down, scraped our knee and continue playing as if nothing ever happened. As adults, when we fall down, the chances of someone picking you up when you fall down are slim, because as adults, we are taught to pick ourselves up off the ground, dust yourself off and get back on the horse again or to hit your local bar and drink your pain away.

Last week was a rather busy week but it all started with last Tuesday and few friends of mine celebrating a good friends birthday party at the fantastic restaurant, Rosemary’s, followed by drinks at Highland. It was also marking the first time of me seeing my friends since their engagement, so there was really a lot to celebrate that evening, however, by some sort of miracle, I ended up calling it an early night and waking up not hungover. I was also continuing to communicate with that guy I had met from the event last Sunday and was looking forward to our date on Thursday and getting to know him on a one on one basis.

By the time Thursday had presented itself, it was also presenting the city with another snow/rain storm. Not ideal to be walking around on a first date but still we had managed earlier to just pick a location and meet at 7:30. We were meeting at this tiny little wine bar in Hell’s Kitchen called, Riposo 46, and I had arrived first. Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly sure of what he looked like because at the event where we met, I was truly being dragged all over the place. So when he finally arrived, I will admit; that it wasn’t instant attraction but we all know that looks aren’t everything and so I decided to just relax and enjoy myself.

As our first glass of wine was poured, I began pouring out all the questions that are normally asked on first dates. What I learned about this guy is that he works for a big time accounting firm as a designer, lives in the East Village and owns a house in East Hampton. Has made a good name and living for himself here in the city and on the weekends, if he can, goes out and enjoys his weekend home. When it came time to ask him about his age, the only thing I got from him was, “I lie about my age, so I really don’t know how old I am. But let’s just say that I am in my late 40’s.” I wasn’t going to press the issue, especially on a first date, so I let the age thing go. We covered a lot of ground and he even confessed that he usually isn’t this open on dates but he felt a connection. By the time our fourth and final glass of wine was poured, I still wasn’t sure exactly how I felt about him but I knew I was certainly feeling the wine. So, we settled the bill and began walking up Ninth Avenue. The bad weather had gone away and by the time we got to 50th Street, something must have come over him for he grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall, which would have been sexy if it was in a movie but this is New York City and who knows what the hell is on these walls, and he kissed me. The kiss was nice but it didn’t make me knees weak. He offered to walk me to my block but I told him that it wouldn’t be necessary and he hugged me goodbye and asked to see me again and we agreed on Saturday night.

Friday was something that I was looking forward to, mainly because I was going to get to see my friends, some of which I hadn’t seen in a long time and I was determined to just have a nice relaxing evening because I didn’t want to get too out of control for I wanted to look presentable for my second date. After work, I rushed home to drop my bags off and then head down to the bar, Boxers, to meet up with some friends for a quick happy hour which then led us going to another friend of ours apartment for drinks and some delicious food. Usually I don’t write about food, but my friend who was hosting, made the most delicious onion soup I have ever tasted, I even had two bowls of it. The wine was flowing and then we moved onto dessert which was a chocolate soufflé with ice cream. It was around midnight when we all decided to call it a night, or so I thought, because another friend suggested a few of us go to Barracuda where we only had a few beers which then led to one more drink that we couldn’t even finish at the soon to be closed, Rawhide. We all called it a night around 1 a.m. and I was so full and happy that it was just the Friday night I was looking forward to.

Saturday, I was up early and I meant business, I did the laundry, the gym and even managed to get a facial all before meeting a friend of mine to see the new Wizard of Oz movie. After the movie, I had to kill only a half hour before meeting this guy for our second date. We were meeting on the corner of 10th Street and University Place. I was in the mood for margaritas and since it had been such a nice day for weather in the city that day, I suggested we go to one of my favorites in the city, Tortilla Flats. On the walk over to the restaurant we updated each other on our days and it was nice but once again, I wasn’t too attracted to him. It pains me to say such a shallow thing but let’s be real; looks do play a part, especially in the beginning. When we arrived, it was jam packed and of course, really loud. The conversation was flowing but I was doing a lot of the heavy lifting, which I didn’t mind at first. After about the second margarita, I suggested that we just get a pitcher. Well, that was a very bad decision on my part, at least for him. After we finished the pitcher and our meal, he said he needed air. So, we grabbed our coats and I told him to just breathe through his nose and I decided to talk to him about silly stuff in order to get his mind off of his upset stomach. By the time we reached 14th Street and Eighth Avenue, he told me he is sorry but he needs to call the date off early and take himself home. Well, ok, so my date is feeling nauseous after drinking a ton of margaritas and eating shrimp tacos. I guess anybody would really. I told him to get home safely and he walked away. As he walked away, I noticed that it was only 10:30. I should have taken my ass home but I just couldn’t comprehend the idea of going home at 10:30 on a Saturday night and I am working with some margaritas in my system as well. So, I contacted some friends and before I knew it. I am back at Boxers, picking them up before we try finding a cab to take us to the East Village. After stopping in the tacky bar, Live Bait, to use the bathroom, before we leave, we decided it was a good idea to do a shot of tequila. We finally get to Boiler Room, pick out a corner and continue to have a good time. With the Daylight Saving Time approaching I knew that it was getting late. One last stop at the John Dory to see a friend and then it was time to call it a night for I was drunk and I knew it was going to be only one more and the room would begin to spin. So we got in a cab, dropped a friend off and in another cab I went to go home and pass out.

Yesterday, as one would imagine, I woke up with a nice little hangover. It wasn’t the kind where you wanted to die but one that was manageable. I did contact the guy to see how he was feeling, he again, apologized for having to call the date short and I reassured him that it was ok but even speaking with him on the phone I knew that there was something missing. So, this morning, I sent him an email telling him I see things more on a friendship level. He replied with understanding and knew there wasn’t any spark but he also said that I ask amazing questions and that he feels that I know him better than any of his real friends.

Just when I thought I was going to have a lazy Sunday, watching reruns of the Golden Girls while drinking coconut water, something totally unexpected happened to me. A friend of mine sent me a text that day asking if I had gotten any sex from this guy, he was being silly, of course, but it got my mind thinking about sex. As luck would have it, I connected with this guy that I had met purely for the physical last fall. So, without even putting together a cute outfit, I walked over to his place which is only ten blocks away. I arrive wearing a baseball cap, track pants and a sweatshirt, not my best look but this wasn’t a date. After all was said and done, we were making that small awkward talk as you find your clothes and just like that I was back on the street heading back home. I was only one block outside of this guy’s apartment when I got a message from him that said, “You are fucking adorable.” I was taken aback by that comment for I wasn’t expecting to hear from him at all. So, I thought about how to respond and thanked him for the compliment and suggested that if he ever wanted to grab a drink sometime to contact me. After a few emails back and forth he finally at 6 p.m. asked me to go with him to see the Broadway show, Spiderman. It was starting at 7 p.m. and even though I wasn’t expecting to be asked out so quickly, I knew it was now or never. So I jumped in the shower and got ready as quickly as possible to meet him in front of the theatre by 6:50. Only in New York City can something go from Booty Call to the Great White Way.

I feel as though I spend most of time running from point A to point B in New York because of the fast pace maybe that is why I am always about ten minutes behind for things but I managed to get there at exactly 6:50. He was already waiting for me and it occurred to me that as we were walking into the theatre that, One: I hadn’t been to the theater in years. Two: This guy is really attractive. And Three: I am not sure of this guy’s name!

So, we sat down and before the lights went down, I had to ask the rather embarrassing question of, “What is your name?” He laughed and told me but given the nature of how we met, it wasn’t totally an off based question. The show began and half way through, I realized exactly why I don’t go out of my way to see a Broadway show, this show was TERRIBLE. When the first act of the show was over with, we began our little semi-date. We asked each other what we did for work and turns out he actually knows one of my close friends. We discussed where we are from, goals and all of this was happening during intermission. It was like speed dating only with an orchestra. Thankfully, he was also in agreement of how bad this show was and by the time the second act had rolled around, I could tell we were starting to get comfortable with each other. I jumped a few times and he put his hand on my leg and smiled. So, things were shifting and for the better. Once the show was over with, we began walking back to Hell’s Kitchen and continued our semi-date. I learned that he is a man that would like to skip all that dating stuff and get to a place where he is comfortable with someone. I couldn’t have agreed more, I am so over the first dates that go nowhere. Suddenly, I was starting to feel that things are in fact, gonna be alright. He teased me in the flirtatious way and even suggested that we grab a drink but I knew not to stay too long at the fair plus I had some work to do when I got home. We stood on the corner of 47th and Ninth Avenue and it was at the point where I was wondering if he was going to kiss me. We joked about how we kind of did things backwards. We already hooked up and now we are on a date. Maybe there is something to be said about breaking tradition because I was having fun and I didn’t have to worry if we were compatible in the sheets. He said he would contact me later to figure out a time about meeting for drinks and then it happened, the quick kiss that told me he was interested in more than just the physical. It was nice, short and sweet but I walked home with a big smile on my face. By the time I got home there was a message from him thanking me for the company and apologized for how bad the show was. Too soon to tell just how much we have in common but I do know that I had a wonderful time for what I was predicting to be a rather quiet Sunday.

Everyday terrible things happen in the world, in our loved ones lives and even in our own. We experience losing loved ones, break-ups, losing jobs and other major disappointments. It’s called life but instead of having our parents pick us up when we fall down, we are now faced to pick our own selves up and for those that are truly blessed to have a friends to also help you along the way and tell you, “It’s going to be alright.” It’s something that we should never take for granted. For after the many times that we will fall or even fail, we survive and move forward because we all know that in the end, we are all gonna be alright.

 

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7 Comments

  1. I saw an interview with Ellen Barkin where she said something about how you should sleep together on the first date, because if you aren’t sexually compatible there’s no point in continuing the relationship. It’s just being efficient!

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