"Update" NYC

The Fix Up

New York. A city that is filled with millions of people, a city that has infinite possibilities and is a city where people come from all over the world to make their dreams come true. It is a city that is so exciting that it never slows down. A city where you can get anything you want at anytime of the day or night. A city where no one thinks it is crazy to pay $2,000 for a tiny studio apartment. A city that is tough as nails, it is notorious for chewing up the weak and spitting them out. And New York is a city that ever since I was a young kid knew that I wanted to be a part of.

However, this city, when it comes to matters of dating is not all that it is cracked up to be. You see it on the movies, on TV and even read about it. You think it is fiction and that it might be over dramatized but the fact is…none of it is too far from reality. I think one of the reasons why it isn’t too off base, is because every walk of life lives here. We have the creative types, the financial types, the young, the old and every single ethnic background you can think of. But sometimes I think this city can suffer from having too many options. The way we treat the latest restaurants or clubs, one minute your hot and the next you are not, is how we treat human beings. We treat them as if something better will be coming along until one day you wake up and you are of a certain age and no longer dateable. New York. A city with everything at your finger tips but when it comes to finding true love, it can be a city that can leave you feeling like a failure. People that search for love go through great lengths, they try dating sites, going out to the bars, churches and then there is the Fix Up.

Last Monday would have marked my fourth date with Mr. D. We had plans last Sunday to meet up but he sent me a text message asking me if we could move our date to Monday due to a friend that was having some personal issues. I agreed to move the date and was actually looking forward to seeing him. It had been a week or so since we last hung out and I wasn’t sure what to expect. However, as my bad luck would have it (or maybe in this case good luck), Monday came around, I sent him an email first thing in the morning to say what time I could be available to meet. As of now, I haven’t heard from him at all. He pulled a Houdini. Just vanished. Gone. Never to be heard from again. I will be damned if I reach out to him for his behavior is childish and it is best that I saw this now before it had gone too far. I am still surprised that grown adults still pull this kind of shit but there you have it. A 39 year old man acting like he is 25. My feelings weren’t hurt but I did feel deflated. The week prior I had my ex that canceled on meeting me, the guy that lied about his age and now this. I was really beginning to wonder what the hell was going on with this city and the men that reside in it.

The next few days I literally had plans every single night but my Tuesday plans got canceled as well as my Thursday ones. But on Wednesday I did manage to meet up with a friend of mine at, Flight 151, for some beers and of course there was relationship talk. My friend is also in the same boat, except he is straight, but he is also out there, dumbfounded and confused at the dating life here in the city. After a few beers, it was time for him to catch his train back to his reality and I took my ass home with hopes that maybe some of the advice that was given to my friend would help him get closer to what he is looking for.

By the time Friday rolled around, I was more than ready to start spreading the holiday cheer. That night was a holiday party that we have each year; it is hosted by some friends of mine that own the company, Factory 360. This particular party is a special one because it is the party that everyone I know is all in one room at the same time. Everyone puts on their holiday best and to me, it is the party that kicks everything off for the holiday season. Earlier that week, my girlfriend sent me an email asking me if I was going to be going to the party this year and if so, if I could show up on time. I responded to her that I would be attending and will do my best to get there on time for her. I had no idea why she was so hell bent on me arriving on time but as I was getting ready that night, I received a few text messages from her and they all involved checking the status of my arrival to the party. In all the years I have known her, she has never pushed so hard for me to get to a place on time. I managed to get my act together with showing up only a half hour late. When I got to the party, she wasn’t even there yet. Instead, she asked me for directions and I am someone who is terrible with directions and gave her the wrong address. When she finally showed up, she wasn’t alone. She brought a plus one with her and it was a man. Finally, it dawned on me why she was so eager for me to show up. She was part of the Fix Up.

Normally, I would need advance notice of someone trying to fix me up because there are certain things one needs to do to prep for this kind of situation. Instead, I resorted to trying to be normal and rely on vodka to help my nerves. I am not sure how she prepped the guy about me but turns out he is a really nice guy. A handsome man as well. Suddenly, I found myself having a great time and was relaxed. I made my way rounds through the party by saying hi to all of my friends and dancing. Next thing I know, the party is in full swing and I am shit faced. The good thing is that I wasn’t the only one. The entire party had looks on their face that indicated that everyone was drunk! My brain couldn’t even register just how drunk I was but suddenly I just left. Of course, my exit didn’t go as planned. I didn’t even say goodbye to the guy I was being fixed up with, didn’t even say goodbye to my friends. The one thing that did happen was as I was walking to the coat rack that I couldn’t get my eyes to focus on where the hell my coat was amongst the hundreds of others. Finally, I found my coat and got so excited, so I grabbed the coat and took another step and that is when it happened. I fell on the ground. I somehow, in my fall, managed to also rip the inside of my coat on the way down. Luckily, some nice lady helped me up and got me to the elevator. That was the last thing I remember about the night. I woke up the next morning in my bed with my clothes still on and sleeping vertically not horizontally. It was official…I was hungover.

All day on Saturday I did my best to break out all the hangover cures. I got the Advil, the coconut water and even forced myself to take a nap. After the nap, I then forced myself to go to the gym to sweat out all the booze that was in my system. That seemed to do the trick. I was starting to feel like myself again and I was happy because that night was also a great friend of mines birthday and I couldn’t miss that. I went over to the birthday boy’s apartment to pick him up and we would go to the venue together. On my route to my friend’s apartment I received a text message from my girlfriend that was in charge of the previous nights Fix Up that she was going to be coming to the party and she also invited the guy from last night.

We arrive at the club, Norwood, which I was DYING to go to for months, so I was excited about the party. This party would be with the same people from the night before and as they all started to arrive we all shared stories from party and of course everyone was suffering from their severe hangovers. The party was in full swing when the Fix Up guy arrived. I didn’t see him come in but then I felt someone punch my arm and it was him. We immediately started talking and he was even more handsome and friendly than I remembered. Trying my best to not come across as desperate, I worked the room and talked with all my friends there. Of course, every time I was talking with my friends, the only question they had was, “So, what is going on with you and that guy?” Gotta love my friends for always supporting and rooting for me and finally I asked one of them what I should do. It was suggested that I give him my phone number, something that I never do so I wasn’t even sure how to do it. I needed another glass of wine and so, the Fix Up guy got me another glass of wine and when he returned with it, I just blurted out, “I am going to give you my number.” Again, not very smooth but then again, I don’t have any moves and I think it caught him off guard for he said, “What was that again?” I just said, “Take your phone out because I am giving you my number.” He laughed and I gave him my number. As the party continued on, I knew that it wasn’t going to be a crazy late night for me because I was still hurting from the night before. Finally, he suggested that he was going to leave and again without any real smooth moves, said that I will go with him. I left without saying goodbye to my friends but I could tell all their eyes were on me.

As we left the club it was raining but not where you actually needed an umbrella but just a light mist. We walked on Eighth Avenue heading uptown and by the time we got to 23rd and 8th Avenue that is where we parted ways. We exchanged a hug and while I was secretly wishing for a kiss, I couldn’t figure out as to what he was thinking. I am glad I didn’t go for a lean in and make a fool out of myself but as I rode the subway back to my apartment I thought that even if this doesn’t turn into something, a great friendship could develop.

Yesterday I woke up and was still tired but at least I wasn’t hungover. I managed to squeeze in a quick run, showered and began writing at a Starbucks in the village. I decided to do my work in the village for later that afternoon I would be going to a friend’s apartment to have yet another holiday gathering. As I was working, I decided to take a chance and send this guy a text message. It was breezy and friendly and throughout the rest of the day we managed to send messages to each other. Nothing resulting in anything but at least there are some wheels in motion. When I got to my friend’s apartment with two bottles of proseco, I wasn’t sure if my body could even handle me drinking but somehow I pushed through and ended up not getting home till almost midnight.

New York. A city that is full of extremes. When it is good, it is fucking amazing. When it is bad, it shows no sympathy and will kick you when you are already down. A city that you never know when your next great chapter will begin and a city where you never know who you will meet. Maybe you will meet new people through work, through a class or in some cases…a Fix Up.

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