"Update" NYC

Mood Swings

More often than not, mood swings are directed toward woman with PMS or menopause and then there are the people suffering from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. However, last week, I got to thinking about Relationship Mood Swings and how it can affect your relationships, whether that is in the work force, your friendships and even someone you are in love with.

This past week, I found myself in my very own Relationship Mood Swing. Things with Mr. Architect and I have been going amazingly and well…it was quite apparent to me that I was rusty at this “dating” stuff. I may get paid to write about it, give advice about the subject constantly but when it was time to put my own words into action, I felt like I was failing inside. I kept having my own personal, M&M’s, which stands for, “Mini-Meltdowns.” I never let him or my friends see these M&M’s, they are for me to figure out.

I had an episode last Tuesday. We met up with some of his friend’s for her going away party in the East Village at this café called, The Cloister Café. When we arrived, we were seated at the end of the table where one of his friends was already into his second beer and ready to order a hookah for the table. It had been many years since I did a hookah but I figured, when in the East Village, do as the East Villager’s do. So, we ordered our Stella’s and our apple flavored hookah and I let the night begin. It was fun actually, getting to know his friends more. I felt somewhat guilty because he has met most all of mine several times now and while they all love him; it was my turn to really get to know some of his people. So, I did and it was fine but there was one point in the evening where I realized how opposite we are. Even when it comes to the people we hang out with. I had those thoughts of, “We are so different, could this really work?” and “He must think I am nuts when he sees me hanging out with me friends.” I took myself to the bathroom, splashed some cold water on my face and pretty much reenacted the scene from the movie, Moonstruck, and slapped my face like Cher did to Nicholas Cage and said…”Snap out of it.” I went back to the table and decided to let myself go and really enjoy these nice people. After the café portion, the remaining people from the party, decided to head over to B Bar, a place I hadn’t been to since the closing of Beige. To my surprise, it had changed drastically; the clientele has gone from fashionistas to out of towners and under aged people. We had one drink and the party was winding down, so we decided to say our goodbyes and take the subway home.

On the way home on the subway, I could tell that Mr. Architect was happy that I was able to meet his friends and that it was successful. I failed to mention one part of our Tuesday that was rather romantic, at least for me. You see, the next day, which would be the Fourth of July, would be marking our two months of seeing each other. When he arrived at my apartment before we had to head to his friends party, he presented me with gifts. I wasn’t expecting them at all. It was an orchid plant (my favorite flower) and as a fun joke, he gave me these chocolates that actually look like olives (a food I have a phobia about) and it was just silly and fun and well…romantic. Once we got into bed and settled into the cuddling position, he did tell me one thing and that was, “I hope you can share with me things that are on your mind and not just write about them.” I agreed with him and understood that if this thing between us is ever going to take flight, I must leave some stuff private (sorry folks) but don’t worry, I will not leave you in the dark J

The next day was the Fourth of July. It was the perfect weather and the perfect day actually. I got up, worked out at the gym while he slept in. Then we got ready, had breakfast at this diner called, Route 66 and from there I took him to his very first IMAX and 3D movie, the new Spiderman. I was more excited to see his enjoyment from the movie rather than seeing the actual movie. Luckily, both the experience and the movie were fantastic. After the movie, we got on the train and headed to Williamsburg for my friends bbq that he was hosting.

The location, the guests, the food and the fireworks were all amazing. I was relaxed, content and happy. I put all the mood swings behind me and just enjoyed the moment. Mr. Architect was put to the test by actually grilling the food, which we all know is a pain in the ass job, and the rest of us were in charge of bringing up the booze, etc. Once the party was in full swing, it was so wonderful seeing my friends interact with him and vice versa. By the time the fireworks came, everyone was feeling good and I was feeling extra special because for the first time in years, there was someone standing behind me, with his arms around me watching the fireworks.

By the time Friday rolled around, everyone was ready for the weekend. Mainly because that midweek day off and having to go back to the office left everyone feeling discombobulated. That afternoon, we all left work to meet up with friends of mine who have a beautiful country house in Stanfordville.  Mr. Architect would be joining us for his first time out there. He was quite excited for he really does love the country and I knew he would really enjoy himself out there. We all packed in the car and enjoyed the ride upstate. Once we got there, it wasn’t long before the delicious food and booze was being had and enjoyed by all. Being out there, you find yourself wanting to relax and let go of the city life, rather than when you are on Fire Island and you just want to dance and drink as many Planter’s Punches as possible. We all were in bed by midnight that night and fell fast asleep.

The next morning after breakfast, we all got ready to head over to another country house that had a pool, in which we all would be taking advantage of. It ended up raining that afternoon but we didn’t care. We were all in the heated pool, drinking white wine and eating finger sandwiches. The best part of that entire afternoon was seeing Mr. Architect interact with my friends. He didn’t need me to hold his hand, he would smile or raise his eyebrows at me to let me know he was having fun, relaxed and enjoying himself. He really liked learning about the houses and their architecture, while I was busy filling my glass up with more white wine.

That evening was special, for we were all having a big bbq to celebrate my friend’s birthday. So, we all went into preparation mode and got the house ready for the guests would be arriving by 6. By the time 6 o’clock rolled around, we were all set, the food was on the grill, the guests had their drinks and the fun was able to commence. The food was beyond amazing and the guests were unique. Most of the people that attended the bbq were gay couples. Couples that had been together for over twenty years and I tried to dig deeper into how they made their relationships work. However, these couples were hilarious. The minute I asked them how long they were together; each couple responded with a sassy roll of an eye or a big sigh and said, “Too long.” I could tell that they were half joking and possibly the other half of them were saying, “Get me out of here.” I do think that if any of their partners were to leave them, they would be rather upset, so that told me that while the “sparkle” might be out, the love is still very much there. Of course, at one point in the night, someone did ask Mr. Architect if we were boyfriends and he got rather stumped and replied with, “We are seeing each other.” Perfect answer, considering we haven’t discussed what we are just yet. The rest of the night was filled with tons of laughter, wine and really excellent food. By the time all the guests left and we cleaned the kitchen, we all were exhausted and again, were in bed by midnight.

As Sunday began, we all had our final breakfast together and began to slowly get ready to head back to the city. I found myself falling into another mood swing. I wasn’t sure what even brought it on, which is even more frustrating and I did my best to hide it from everyone, including myself. It had nothing at all to do with Mr. Architect, in fact, he was perfect. Throughout the entire weekend, my friends came up to me at different points and said how nice he is or that they really like him. It was me and my own crazy thoughts. However, by the time we all got into the car to head back to the city, I was fine again. Once we got into the city and back up to my apartment, it was really the first time all weekend we had been able to be alone and it felt nice. Granted, I had a lot of things to do but it was nice just being with him…alone. He went back to his apartment and I went onto doing my errands. The week ahead has us both rather busy with our schedules but I know that in all relationships, you must make time and that is what we are doing this Friday. A real date night. Just the two of us. Well, me, him and the city. The best threesome I can think of.

On my way to work this morning, I felt alive. It is a rare feeling to have on a Monday morning but I wasn’t going to fight it but rather embrace it. Mood swings in any relationship is normal, which is what I told myself. They come and they go, how you handle them is what matters. It shouldn’t matter if you are happy or sad but how you communicate these emotions is how it will not only affect you but also the people around you. However, for now, this mood swing is swinging toward happiness and I intend to share it with anyone that will listen.

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