"Update" NYC

Building a Mystery

Many spiritual advisors have said that removing yourself out of your comfort zone is when you will truly experience great things. That certainly what I was forcing myself to do this past weekend.

After having dinner with my ex where he promised our first “real date.” That was literally the last I heard from him. He never called, emailed or sent a text message. As I was telling my friend this over coffee last Sunday, it dawned on me that I was being played again. However, what was even more worrisome was that my ex had not changed one bit after 7 years. I actually felt sorry for him that he hasn’t matured or wanted to make his life any better. Aside from that, I wasn’t about to be fooled again by his evil ways again. I am beginning to believe that the person who created the quote, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me,” was actually referring to their own personal break-up. In this instance, it was his lack of actions that spoke louder than words to me. He is done and never coming back into my life again. I was free and it felt liberating.

The rest of my week I submerged myself into my writing and it felt great to have the creative juices flowing. There was also a surprise in store waiting for me. I began exchanging friendly messages with this guy from OKCupid. Seeing that my last experience with meeting a guy from this dating site; didn’t turn out quite like I was hoping, I was skeptical about taking another plunge. The messages were your typical first phase of chatting, the exchange of names, how was your day, etc. Finally, I found myself once again, in unfamiliar territory and decided that not only was this guy rather nice (at least via email) but I wanted to meet him. So, I asked him out, something I normally don’t do and he said yes.

Last Thursday, I ended up meeting with my friend, Feathers and a few other friends for an art gallery opening. As the free cocktails continued to flow and we went back to Feathers apartment for some more refreshments, it was there that I got a message from my Friday night date, saying he is looking forward to meeting and the wine bar I suggested would be great. Score. Not only was I having a great time with my friends but I also got confirmation for a Friday night date. Even in the cab ride home at 2 a.m. I was excited for it seemed like things were beginning to look up.

Friday morning I hit the snooze button just once but knew it was going to be a busy day at the office so I pulled it together and hit the pavement. Surprising enough, I was not hung-over but just slow moving. By mid-afternoon, I got a message from my date giving me his number and that he will be at the wine bar by 7:30. I managed to get all my work done and rush out a little early in order to get a quick workout in and to get ready.

The wine bar that I chose was, of course, Ardesia over on 52nd Street between 10th and 11th. I was surprisingly enough, only a few minutes late. I did get a message from my date saying he would be the guy in the white-stripped shirt and to look for him. On my way to the wine bar I found myself short of breath. I was nervous. Having been on more dates than I can even remember, there was something different about this date. I couldn’t figure out why I was so anxious. Or was it excitement? As I tried not to let my emotions take over my thoughts, I received a text message from a friend of mine saying, “Good luck on the date. Hope the other shoe doesn’t drop.” It was right there that I knew I wasn’t even going to allow another shoe to drop. I wasn’t going to put out into the universe that this date was going to be a freak. He is not going to want to bite my neck like a vampire, he is not going to be missing teeth, he is not going to stand me up and he is not going to a little person. He is going to be a friendly, handsome and charming guy and we are going to have an amazing time. Period. I was not going to allow for any negative thoughts.  As I was walking and typing my message back to my friend, I did manage to bump into a pizza delivery guy causing him to drop a pizza box. Luckily, the box landed flat on the sidewalk and no damage was done to the pie. Whew.

As I got onto 52nd Street, I gave myself one more pep talk and walked inside. There he was, already on his first glass of wine waiting for me at a corner table. My first feeling when I saw him was, relief. He was tall, handsome and looked like his photos. We are off to a great start here. I ordered the same white wine that he had been drinking and so began the first date. It was a warm night in the city and everyone around us looked like they were having such a great time and it turns out, so were we. I quickly learned that he has lived in the city for ten years, is from Dallas and works as an architect. So here we have, a guy that isn’t a newbie to the city; has a career and has manners. The conversation flowed effortlessly, I asked questions, he asked questions, no awkward silences and even on a first date, there are moments where you wonder if the person sitting across from you is genuinely interested in what you have to say or is even attracted to you but I didn’t even let those thoughts enter my mind. I was focused and centered.

After our first glass of wine, I excused myself to the restroom and foolish me, forgot to lock the bathroom door so as I begin to pee, a woman comes rushing in. I scream, she screams and we have a good chuckle about it. I come back to the table and it was that moment where you are not sure if you should have another glass or call it a night. We both wanted another glass, however, that second glass of wine never came. Instead, we got the check and decided to go for dinner instead. A wine date was quickly turning into one of those dates that just might go all night long. When the bill for the wine came, he said in such a nice tone, “Let me get this.” It was just so charming and I was ready to get the hell out of there so I can find out more about Mr. Architect.

Seeing that it was the day before Cinco do Mayo, we tried to go to a Mexican restaurant but the few places we tried were all jam-packed and eventually we found a place on Ninth Avenue called, Patron. We got seated right away and ordered our margaritas. It was amazing not only how much fun I was having but I really was excited on getting to know him. After dinner, we still weren’t done with the date and it was also during the meal that we asked each other what the other was doing the next day. I told him that I had two separate birthday parties to attend to but was available in the early afternoon. Turns out he was scheduled already to get a haircut in my neighborhood and suggested we meet when he is done with his appointment. Date number two already confirmed while on the first date. Holy shit!

We found ourselves at the gay country western bar, Flaming Saddles. It seemed that on this particular night that everyone was out and about, it was crowded and we ordered our beers and the body language had shifted now. We were getting closer to each other and it was electric. I refused to be the first to kiss him, but I did know that I wanted him to kiss me. We had one more beer and just when I thought the date was going to end, he suggested we go out for one more drink. Next thing I know, we are at Therapy bar and one more beer is being had. This time, we are leaning in so close to each other that I just couldn’t take it anymore. We had already played coy with each other, by grabbing each other’s hands, he had put his arm around me once or twice: it was time for the kiss. I looked at him and said, “Well, are you ever going to kiss me or not?” He took a pause and replied with, “Are you going to kiss me back?” I nodded and he planted one on me. It was a good kiss. This was a perfect way to end a great first date. We finished our beers, had one more kiss and I suggested we call it a night for we both had things to do the next day and would be seeing each other in hours. He walked me to the corner of my apartment, we both confessed how pleasantly surprised we were by this date and looked forward to seeing each other the next day.

Saturday was whirlwind, I got up, did laundry the gym and next thing I knew, I got a message from Mr. Architect saying he will be finishing up sooner than expected and if I would be ready to meet him for coffee. I told him that I could be ready and to let me know where to meet him. I was to meet him at, AQ Café, on Broadway and 58th Street. He was already waiting for me and even though we had only been separated for not that long, I was so excited to see him again. We ordered our mochas and he suggested we walk through Central Park.

As we headed toward the park, it occurred to me how I was hoping this date was going to be an even bigger success than the previous. Based on my schedule for the day, I knew we were pressed for time and as we entered Sheep’s Meadow, I forced myself to get out of my comfort zone and took a deep breathe and said, “If you want to, no pressure, you can come with me to the first birthday party. My friends are great, relaxed and extremely easygoing. You don’t have to answer yes or no now, just think about it.” The rest of the walk through the park was great, we sat by the Bethesda Fountain, viewed the zoo and halfway through the walk, he put his arm around me. It felt natural and it was one of those moments where I honestly felt like it was just he and I in the park and not a soul around. It was a good feeling.

My phone kept going off and I knew it was my friends confirming on when I was coming to the party, etc. As we sat on a bench and it was getting close to me having to pick my friends up, I asked him if he given any thought to coming to my friends party with me. He said, “Yes. I’d love to.” I told him that his answer made me happy, kissed him and off we went. We picked up my friends at their apartment; introductions were made and hailed a cab to head to the East Village. When we got to the party at, Ten Degrees, the party was in full swing. It is always nerve racking when you introduce someone the first time. You think, “Will this person be able to hold their own?” “Is this meeting going to scare this person away?” the thoughts go on and on but I refused to think in such limiting terms. We entered and right off the bat it felt easy.

Mr. Architect hit it out of the park! He held his own, met my friends and was attentive and a perfect gentleman. When he went to use the restroom that is when a few of my friends said he was cute, so nice and NORMAL. The word, “normal,” was used throughout the night. I couldn’t believe it myself, no warning signs, no freakiness, it was, well…normal. As the drinks continued and the afternoon wore on, I knew that our time was coming to an end. While I didn’t want it to end, I also didn’t want to be the last person at the party with this date. We all began to finish up paying our tabs and getting ready to head to the next birthday party. As we got onto the street, he kissed me goodbye and said he had a good time. We gave the cab driver the cross street and as soon as we turned onto First Avenue, I got a text message from him saying he had a great weekend and is looking forward to our next adventure. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I told my friends about the message and all I got was, “Don’t fuck this one up.” I laughed and onto the next birthday party we went.

We arrive at my friend’s birthday party, which was being held at, Sammy’s Roumanian, located in the Lower East Side. In my entire life of living in New York City, I have not heard of this place. I just know that I was in for a real treat. As we entered the establishment it was decked out with photos all over the walls, a little man that served as the DJ against the wall and a few other parties going on at the same time. We all immediately rush to the drinks and got everyone ready for the festivities. The food was flowing and once we finished with our meal, we hit the dance floor. I had never seen the birthday boy so happy. We did the horah, we danced in circles and I even got the DJ to play Madonna’s, “Holiday” song for us. It was an experience I will never forget. After the party was done, we all went to the bar, Urge. Seeing that we had started drinking at 5 p.m. I was starting to hit my limit, so we all had one more drink and I caught a cab with my friends uptown. It was one of those perfect, magical days where everything just fell into place and everyone was content.

Yesterday I woke up hating life. I went from tequila, to vodka and ending with beer on Saturday. Luckily for me, the movie, My Best Friend’s Wedding, was on to ease my hang over. I sent a message to Mr. Architect wishing him a great day with his friend. A few hours later and plenty of water, I got a response from him and he told me he had a great day. I wasn’t sure if and when we were going to see each other again, I wasn’t even worried he was going to disappear or suddenly become unavailable, this was a solid guy. It was just then I got a message that read, “I was curious are you free on Wednesday? It would be fun to celebrate the halfway point of the week with someone fun.”  AMAZING.  Third date booked. I told him that I was free and looking forward to it. All I know is that he said the details for Wednesday are a secret for now but that he is looking forward to seeing me again.

This morning I woke up to a message from him telling me to have a great day. What an amazing way to start the day. Not sure what is happening, what is going to happen or what the future holds. What I do know is that in the life, we all have our own personal “blueprints.” Our own foundation in which we lay the groundwork down and as each person or experience comes into play, we watch our towers grow. Sure, there will be times when we loose a floor but that doesn’t mean we stop building. We rebuild, learn and watch our limits become endless as we continue to reach to the sky. Here is to building a mystery, the unknown…the future.



  1. Nicole


  2. Terrific! Today’s Wednesday- I hope your date goes well. 🙂

  3. I am now not certain the place you are getting your info,
    but good topic. I must spend some time finding out much more or
    working out more. Thank you for excellent info I was looking for this info for my mission.

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