"Update" NYC

Traffic Lights

It amazes me the amount of “choices” we have in life. Some are made for us, like a traffic light telling us when to stop, go and yield. While other choices, like in matters of the heart, are designed for us to make and we are, therefore in charge of our future outcome. Personally, I wish there was an actual traffic light in relationships telling our minds, our hearts and even our mouths when to stop, go and yield.

It had been about a week since I told the Funny Guy, whom I had two amazing dates with; that the situation he was going through was too heavy. I was worried that a few things would happen, he would be angry with me, I would come across as someone shallow or I would be responsible for hurting someone’s feelings. After last week’s post, to my surprise, I got a message from Funny Guy saying that he would very much like to be friends and maybe we could get together for a drink sometime. That is the funny thing about people, especially living in New York City for so many years, that you think you have seen and done everything. However, sometimes if you are lucky, you will come across people that can still manage to throw you curve balls or if you are really lucky, can amaze you. Funny Guy had done just that. He amazed me by having the maturity that I often look for in anyone in my life. It didn’t even take me two seconds to respond to him back saying that I would love to meet for a drink and suggested we meet that Friday.

Over the course of the week we sent each other text messages and he even invited me to his house warming part (unfortunately I will be unable to attend due to a friend’s birthday party) but the fact that he wanted me to be at his party, as a friend, again spoke highly of his maturity level. After a particularly rough workweek, I was looking forward to Friday more than ever and the fact that I was going to see him made it a tad more exciting for me.

We decided to go back to the scene of our second date, Arriba Arriba, for some much needed margaritas. I arrived on time for once and he was running a few minutes behind. So I decided to call my sister while I had some time to kill waiting for him. As I was on the phone, he came up behind me and put both his hands on my shoulders and gave a squeeze. He went inside to put our names down and I finished up my phone call. Once inside and we both smiled at each other, the flirtation in my mind already kicked in but I knew I had to hold back because we are friends now. I wasn’t sure if he felt it but I did my best to act like I was cool being friends with him.

Once we were seated and the Mama sized margaritas were placed on the table, I knew that it was going to be a fun night. Before the tequila kicked in we decided to talk about last week, the blog and just to hash it out. He mentioned that he found it interesting that I wrote that his situation was too heavy for “him to deal with” as opposed to his situation being too heavy for “me to deal with.” He was 100% accurate. He is secure, comfortable and knows himself. It was ME that suggested we be friends and it was ME that cannot handle that heavy of a situation, not HIM. After all was said and done, we both agreed to no longer talk about it, to focus on the present and have a kick-ass time. Which is exactly what we did.

After dinner, we weren’t even close to finishing the night, so we went to Posh bar, just across the street, for a drink. Switching from tequila to vodka is never a good idea but that is what we did. During the time at Posh, I already knew I was feeling the alcohol and began to flirt with him. I was either flirting so good or flirting terribly but either way, he called me out on my shit. He looked at me and said, “Why are you flirting with me? I thought you wanted to be friends?” Bam. There it was. I have always loved meeting a person that calls me out on my shit. I had no answers for him other than an apology. I told him I was sorry for the flirting. He was again very cool about the whole thing and responded with, “It is ok. I just need to protect my heart for I don’t want to get hurt.” Fucking hell. Why is this guy saying all the right things? That can be very frustrating to someone that is trying to do some innocent flirting. He mentioned that he was starting to feel guilty for being out so late because he needed to walk his dog. Anybody that knows me knows that walking a dog isn’t exactly my forte but he did need to walk his dog and he did say that after he walks the dog we could go back out for more drinks.

Dog is walked and now we are walking to the bar, Bartini. Get inside and it is somewhat dead inside, which is fine by me. He orders the first round and we find a seat. He said, “I wonder if we are going to run into any of your friends.” I was pretty sure that we weren’t since I knew where most of my friends were that night. However, wouldn’t you know, we did run into a friend of mine, quick introductions and we were back to our, “friendly date.” Up until that point of the night, the most physical contact we had was a hug but the chemistry was so thick you could cut it with a knife and finally he leaned in and planted one on me.

It was also around that time when he kissed me, that a big crowd of gays and women came in drunk and were ready to dance. We were seated in a way that it was as if they were the actors and we were the audience. Eventually a women, whose birthday it was, came up to us and drunkenly began to talk to us about life, her birthday and asked us if we were an item. After we nodded politely, we began to kiss again, one kiss was actually so intense and as he pulled away he says, “Sorry but umm…I gave you a hickey.” My skin has always been sensitive to that kind of rough housing and so now I am back to being 13 years old again. We thought we had lost the birthday girl but alas she reappeared and was speaking about me to Funny Guy and said to him, “He is so pretty. You should marry this guy.” It was sweet and FG responded with, “I am working on it.” It was a nice way to tell her to leave us alone and it worked for she backed off and never bothered us again. However, it was also around that time that we had basically had too much to drink and decided to call it a night. I am sure we all have met those people where the kisses are so good you don’t want them to leave and if there was someway they could leave their lips behind it would be ideal. That is what I was experiencing, the kisses were great and it was like a drug that I wanted more of. I played it cool and said goodbye but I did say, “Just one more kiss?” He obliged and we parted ways.

The next day I woke up surprisingly not hung over at all. In fact, I felt just fine. Managed to hit the gym, had an amazing run along the West Side Highway and of course all while sporting a hickey on my neck. I sent him a text in the morning telling him that he in fact gave me a hickey and he responded with telling me he was hungover. At some point the night before, we had mentioned that we might get together on Sunday to watch movies or something. I wasn’t going to press the issue then and just let nature take its course.

The rest of Saturday was delightful. It was one of those warm yet not hot temperatures in the city, where you know the minute the sun goes down that it will get chilly. I managed to do some writing and walk with a friend through Central Park. Afterwards, it was time to get ready for the night on the town. Met a few friends of mine at the W Hotel in Union Square for a quick pre-game cocktail, followed by a house party, then over to the bar, Industry, to gather the rest of the troops and our grand finale was all jumping into a gypsy cab and heading over to the dance club, XL, to celebrate our friends birthday. She went all out by getting the VIP treatment, so there we all were with a corner table, bottle service and that is how I like to go dancing now. I got spoiled. You have a place to put your coats, you don’t need to wait for a drink and you can dance till your heart is content. We all were having a good time. Finally at around 2:45 a.m., I decided to call it a night. All in all, it was a fabulous Saturday.

Yesterday I woke up feeling not hungover per se, but for sure I was exhausted. Got the coffee, the paper and got under the blanket while reruns of the Golden Girls played on the T.V. I sent a text to Funny Guy to see how he was doing and how he was feeling. We exchanged a few friendship type text messages and finally he asked me to come over later to his apartment later that day, for he was going to cook dinner. I was actually looking forward to it. I wasn’t in the best shape but I was looking forward to it nonetheless. The weather was down right crappy. It was raining all day long but I put on the rubber boots and headed over to his apartment with a bottle of wine and some dvd’s.

When I got there, he had just started to get things going in the kitchen. I am no help in the kitchen, so I just planted my ass down on his couch and played with his dog while he cooked. The meal was lovely and the conversation was nice. In fact, it was pleasant, which isn’t a bad thing at all. There were moments I thought where he was going to kiss me but with cooking and us being in this gray area, I wasn’t sure if it was going to happen or even if it should happen. We watched the movie, Pocahontas, on T.V. and it was just so fun and relaxing. There was zero pressure to be “on” and I was basically sprawled out on the couch. A few times there was an innocent touch or smile and even a wink but I could tell we were holding something back. Another hour of watching T.V. and I was exhausted, he was exhausted, so we called it a night. He thanked me for coming over and giving him an excuse to cook and I thanked him for having me over. As we leaned in to give each other a hug and kiss, the kiss was one of those kisses where it was supposed to be on the lips but somehow you got more of half of the lip and some cheek. As soon as that happened, I knew it was time to “yield” on our future. We are friends. We agreed to be friends and it only fair to both of us that we protect our feelings. I don’t want to block his path on meeting someone that is right for him and I believe he wants the same for me.

Maybe one day there will be some traffic light system for relationships where you can actually see the scenario that you are in and it will tell you whether you should stop, yield or go. In the meantime, the best thing we can do is listen to our hearts, console with your friends and hope that the choices you make will not only better yourself but the others involved as well.





1 Comment

  1. jackygage

    It seems like a green light to me;-)

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