"Update" NYC

And Then There Was One…

In a fast paced city like New York, you often find yourself amazed at how much you actually can fit into one day. That certainly was the case for me last week when I found myself, to my own shock, juggling three dates with three different men in one week.

Seeing that it was easy to dismiss Bachelor #2 aka The Vampire Fetish man and Bachelor #3 aka The Man Who Disappeared. I still wasn’t quite sure what to do with Bachelor #1…The British Reporter. He is someone that I haven’t quite met before. He has amazing wit and was of course charming which with British men you never know if it is sincere or just their damn accents that throw you off course. But either way, it was working, but there was still something that didn’t sit well with me and that was the fact that he clearly and politely declared his disinterest to ever want children. I am perfectly comfortable with getting to know someone slowly but knowing that they don’t want what you want right away left me feeling slightly disconnected.

After the last weekend of seeing quite a bit of the Brit, I decided to just let nature take it’s course and see where things fall. However, there was another distraction coming my way. He is a distraction that surpassed all my expectations and so we now enter…Bachelor #4.

Last Monday I found myself in a mindset where I didn’t even want to go on yet another date, especially after last weeks active social calendar and ESPECIALLY someone from Match.com. But I had already moved this date once and after how patient he was with me moving the dates and time; I didn’t want to cancel or move it again. My plan was to work during the day, go home to change and meet Bachelor #4 downtown. But my plan failed me as I ended up working too late and that didn’t give me enough time to go uptown to my apartment to go back downtown to meet him. So, instead, I did what most people do in Manhattan. I finished my work and scurried my ass downtown; however, even after 15 years of living here every now and again one can find themselves…lost.

Earlier that day I did receive an email from Bachelor #4 to confirm the restaurant that he picked for us to meet at.  It was a place called, Benito One, down on Mulberry Street. By the time I got off on the subway, I literally lost my sense of direction and embarrassingly had to ask a stranger where the hell I was at and how on earth do I get to Mulberry Street. But after showing up 15 minutes late and a sweaty mess, there he was, looking even better in person than in his photos. I told him before we met that I would be coming from work so to please excuse the way I was dressed. When I walked up to him the first thing he said to me was, “That is what you had to warn me about? You look great!” I said thank you and suggested we go inside this cute little hidden restaurant that he so graciously picked out.

As we sat down he told me that he had a coupon for this place and that is how he decided on this place for us to meet at. He also mentioned in the same breath that he is cheap. Usually that is something I never expect someone to admit on the first date but for some reason I found the confession rather endearing. We contemplated several minutes on whether or not to get just a glass of wine or a bottle and I am certainly glad that we decided on the bottle for if we had only gotten a glass I was worried the date would just end too quickly and thankfully for us both, it lasted the perfect amount of time. The date lasted with just enough time to have an amazing meal, wine and excellent conversation.

As the first glass of wine was served, it was then that I learned that my date is from Bayside Queens, has two brothers, lives in Brooklyn (Prospect Heights to be exact), works in Manhattan as an 11th grade physics teacher and that he loves children and might want one of his own one day.  It was there that I shared where I was from, what I did for a living and how I only got passed the 12th grade and of course, the very famous story of how I arrived to New York City but I also mentioned my passion to have a child one day. We both come from very different worlds and have very different personalities. He is a self-proclaimed introvert and I am and will always be an extrovert.  By the time the second glass of wine was down the hatch it was there that he told me had never seen an episode of, I Love Lucy, ever. I told him that when he gets home that night to look up the famous episode of Lucy working in the chocolate factory. The check arrived and it was itching to be close to 10pm and for a Monday, especially for him being a school night we decided to end the evening. We exited the restaurant and there we kissed and hugged goodbye and as badly as I wanted to turn around and see him one more time, I decided to play it cool and move onward to the subway.

It was one of those first dates where you are not sure if you hallucinated it being amazing or not but by the time I got in the apartment…I got my confirmation. There on my phone was an email from him. The email said that he had a wonderful time and that he wanted to see me again but what really sealed the deal for me was that he went home, found the episode of I Love Lucy and watched it! I wanted to be suave and not respond till the next day but after all he had said and done thus far I responded saying I had a wonderful time as well and that I would LOVE to see him again. We agreed that we would see each other that upcoming Friday and that we would think of something fun to do and not your typical “dinner and a movie” date. Something you don’t normally do for a second date.

For the rest of the week the Teacher and I exchanged emails and text messages. And I found myself wishing the days away so that it would be Friday and that I could get to see him again. I found myself starting to slip away from the British reporter. Not because of anything he said of did, in fact he was great with the communication throughout the week but as I have mentioned, I am not programmed at all to think about more than one guy. It was all getting rather confusing for me and I certainly didn’t know which way my head was thinking.

By the time Friday had arrived the Teacher and I came up together with an amazing plan. In his dating profile he had mentioned that one of his favorite spots was the bar/restaurant, Schillers over on Norfolk Street on the Lower East Side. It just so happens that I used to live right above Schillers, well, actually I used to live there before Schillers came around and it was just another condemned building but by the time I left the Lower East Side, Schillers had arrived and it was a very happening spot. So I suggested that we start off there and afterwards there was this Doo Wop band playing at this bar called, Ella Lounge, over on Avenue A and Houston.

Once again, I was running about 10 minutes behind and he sent me a text saying he was already seated and waiting for me. As I walked in, I couldn’t even find him but by the time I saw him it was one of those moments where both eyes just lock and you know you are in for a fun ride. Over dinner and wine we updated each other on the workweek and how we were excited to go to this lounge to hear the band play. It was there that somehow we got on the subject of past relationships, something I was really hoping to avoid for at least another three or four more dates but I told him a very “light” version of my past relationships and he told me that his longest relationship was only 4 months and when I asked him why such a short amount of time it was there that I got one red flag and that was his fear of commitment. He did say that his fear is growing less and less as he is getting older and I can certainly understand where he was coming from but trust me people…his “confession” will be put aside for now but not forgotten.

After dinner we decided to start heading over to Ella’s Lounge and it was a good thing too because there was only two seats left at the bar which is where I enjoy being.  We ordered our cocktails and at first our body language was separate with him staying in his space and I stayed put in my own. But by the time the band’s third song was being performed. There we were, his hand on my leg, than his arm around me and finally…the kiss. And the kiss was just perfect, he didn’t stay too long at the fair and it wasn’t a pit stop either. It was nice.

Once the band was done with their set I knew it was time for us to end the night. But I simply didn’t want it to end with no next date discussed. So as he paid the bill and I went to the bathroom I knew if I wanted to see him again, I would have to be the one to ask. When I got back to him and we got our coats I asked what he was doing the next day and he said he had no plans and so I suggested that we meet the next day for coffee and walking the Highline. And he smiled and said that it was a perfect suggestion.

Saturday morning I jumped out of bed and crammed in as many errands as I possibly could before needing to get ready to meet the Teacher. I made it my mission to get to the Starbucks on 16th and 8th Avenue on time and not have him waiting for me this time. And I must pat myself on the back because for the first time I was actually on time for a date. I got us our drinks and off to the Highline we went. As we walked the Highline I found myself hanging on his every word as he told me about his day and all the while secretly wishing that he was going to grab my hand soon and I am not sure if I actually wished it out loud or not but by the time I had said my wish his hand was reaching for mine and so we walked the entire Highline holding hands and that was all I needed. And now I know why they named it the Highline because I was high as a cloud at that moment. When we reached the end of the walk we looked over at the Hudson River and he managed to put his arm around me and than he planted one on me. It was there that I thought that maybe this might be a good time to ask him if he wanted to join me later in the evening to meet my friends at their apartment for some green margaritas (it was St. Patty’s Day after all). I told him he didn’t need to make a decision on attending or not right away but that I would love it if he did even if it was just for one drink.

We decided that since it was so warm out to continue walking along the Westside Highway and enjoy the sunset. By the time we entered my neighborhood of Hells Kitchen it was too early to go to my friends place (which he still hadn’t told me if he was going or not) and we both didn’t want the date to end. So we found a place on Ninth Avenue where he could get a snack. I think I was too nervous to eat and so I watched him eat while I talked some more. During the end of his snack he got quite and confessed to me that he felt nauseous. He wouldn’t tell me why he was feeling sick and so I chose not to press the issue. Finally he suggested we take a walk and get some air. When we walked out of the joint on the street he told me, “I will go with you to your friends apartment. But only for a drink and the reason why I felt sick to my stomach is because I am nervous of meeting your friends.” As soon as he finished his sentence I gave him a hug and a big kiss and did my best to reassure him that my friends are the most amazing people and are very welcoming.

As I looked at my watch I realized that it was still too early to show up at my friends apartment so I did something I never do and that was bring a guy that I am interested in, into my apartment. I gave him a quick tour and as I did I warned him that just because we are in my apartment that it wasn’t an invitation for sex but rather just to kill some time till we can go to my friends gathering. He asked for some hot tea but as someone that doesn’t own a microwave, a pot or really even know how to turn on the stove we were in a bit of a situation. So I saw the coffeemaker machine and tried to get hot water to come out and instead it leaked all over the floor and so we just had a wet floor and I learned that I couldn’t even make a cup of tea. Of course after we cleaned up the mess there was some smooching but all PG rated folks.

As we walked, holding hands down Ninth Avenue to my friend’s apartment all I wanted to do was skip down the street but held back my excitement and instead I acted like it was just another Saturday evening going to a cocktail party. When we arrived I told myself that it is sink or swim now and that I just hope he knows how to swim or at least doggie paddle. Turns out…he can swim. He held his own conversation and by the time he had downed his second margarita I could tell he was at ease and my friends being themselves was just a delight. Finally it was time for him to head back to Brooklyn and for the rest of us to go to dinner. As we all got our coats, etc. my friends were giving me the thumbs up and stamp of approvals. When the Teacher and I said goodbye I told him I would call him the next day and all he said was, “Please do.” And he gave me a kiss goodbye and off my friends went. We weren’t even halfway down the block before I was getting all their feedback. Once we settled in at the restaurant, 9, it was there that I received a text message from him saying that he had a great time with me and it was wonderful meeting my friends. APPROVED.

On Sunday, I did call him as I said I would and there we decided on seeing each other this Thursday. Turns out that this past Sunday was also a date I was to have with the British Reporter. It was so warm out that day that you swore it was late May or early June. In my head, I was already planning on ending things with the reporter because of our future differences. Instead, I chose to meet him on the corner of Hudson and Christopher Street where we would walk and talk and maybe grab a bite but seeing how nice it was outside, we opted to stop over at Nisos in Chelsea for a few drinks. A few drinks led to many and before I know it we are both tipsy, I think he was more intoxicated than I was but I was certainly feeling good. After an hour or more at Nisos it was time for a change of scenery and so we ended up at Elmo. It didn’t dawn on me that a good majority of my friends would be there but there they were and they knew I was one a date so they respected the space that we needed and so we sat outside where we ordered more drinks and things quickly went south from there.

It was there that we both knew that while we enjoyed each other’s company that we simply want different things in life and from potential partners. I admit that while I had every intention to end it that day with him that there was still a part of me that was sad and so out of nowhere I began to feel my eyes begin to swell up with tears. For me it is rare that I even get to a second date much less a third or fourth so before the scene outside the restaurant got to be an embarrassing one I told him that we should just get the check and go our separate ways. It was sad to see him go and I wish him nothing but the best for his life and that I hope one day he finds exactly what he is looking for and I have no doubt that he will find it. And so he went east and I went west.

Yesterday as I was working, I got a message from the Teacher in the middle of the day. I never get messages from him in the middle of the day due to him teaching so it was to my surprise when he asked me out for this Friday to his house warming party. So it looks like this week I have a double header and the good thing is that it is with only one guy. While last week I was juggling three now I find myself down to one. One that makes me smile in a way that I haven’t smiled in quite some time, one that gives me butterflies at the thought of seeing again and one that I find myself thinking about in the middle of my day and lastly, one that I am seeing on Thursday and has asked me to his house warming party and to meet some of his friends on Friday. As Van Halen once said, someone here is “HOT FOR TEACHER.”

 

 

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