"Update" NYC

Three Ring Circus

I have never given it any real thought as to why they have three rings in a circus, or why you need three balls to be able to qualify yourself as juggling but now I definitely understand why you need three wheels for a tricycle in order to keep your balance.

You see…this past week my dating life has completely turned into a circus. As someone that has never been in a position of “juggling” I suddenly found myself trying to juggle several dates with different men and in doing so, I have realized why I never had any desire to learn how to juggle and it is because I suck at it. I am just not physically or emotionally programmed to think of different men and date different men and having to put on a different show each night.

But last week I did it. I became the Ring Leader of my very own Three Ring Circus, a role I thought I would find myself enjoying being center stage and all but by the end of the week I found myself merely exhausted. So exhausted that by Saturday morning I was reaching for my freezer, pulling out my frozen facial mask and lying down to catch my breath.

As you may recall, I met a rather dashing British reporter, Bachelor #1, last weekend and had a rather fun and drunken moment that ended with me walking his dog in Madison Square Park. We were all set to meet with each other on Tuesday night but between his work schedule and my deadlines there simply wasn’t any time and so we set out to meet this Saturday night. I was rather relieved for I had two different dates with two different men that week so I know I needed to be on my A-Game. Throughout the week the reporter and myself exchanged flirty yet witty messages via text and email and I enjoyed every single part of the communication.

This past Wednesday I had a date with Bachelor # 2. I met him through Match.com and aside from being handsome in his photos I found him to be rather sweet…at least via email and by a phone conversation that we had to confirm our plans. We had a few things in common; we both love to run and have a passion for travel. He suggested we meet at the bar, XES, in Chelsea and from there if we hit it off we would than go out to dinner. I arrived there exactly at 7pm and he was only a few minutes late. I was beyond relieved when he walked in and he looked exactly like his photos, in fact, even better. Right off the bat, he came across as shy and quite… something that I am not. And so began the first date and I hung on his every word; he just really fit the type of guy that I am generally attracted to. It was happy hour still at the bar and I managed to put away four vodka cranberries and was starting to feel “good”. I didn’t want to get drunk on the first date so after he finished his Stella; he suggested we go to dinner. He was craving Thai food and so I thought we go over to Spice on Eighth Avenue.

As we left the bar and hit the pavement he made a move that for me really speaks to me. We began to walk to the restaurant and he put his arm around me and pretty much had his arm around me the entire time and to my surprise…I rather enjoyed it and in fact I down right liked it. We reached the restaurant and there we continued to learn more about each other and proceeded to order a bottle of red wine (which we didn’t need at this point but we went with it).  During the date he asked what my plans were for the weekend and I told him they were rather all over the place even though technically I had a new date on Friday but just seeing him across from me I felt happy and than he said something that really made me enjoy this first date. He told me “Well you have plans on Friday night now. With me.” I told him that was a rather smooth move on his part and that I looked forward to it. We couldn’t even finish our last glass of wine and so we settled the bill and walked onto Eighth Avenue toward 14th Street.

It was a full moon that night and the sky was so bright that I looked up to take notice. As I was looking up he continued with being a great first date and he kissed me…right on the corner of Eighth Avenue and 20th Street. We continued to walk toward 14th Street with his arm around me and me only losing my balance once on a curb to which he didn’t call out but simply guided me along the way. By the time we reached 14th Street I made sure that he got in a cab first since he lives in Brooklyn and it is always easy for me to get home. He kissed me goodbye and told me he is looking forward to Friday and I told him what a wonderful time I had. He drove off and I got in a cab myself and the smile on my face was beaming from ear to ear.

Thursday nights date was with a new guy, Bachelor #3. I met him through OKCupid and our communication was rather brief. It was fast and furious and I didn’t know much about him. What I did find out about him before I met him was that he ran some sort of airline department and that he lives on 140th Street on the west side. Seeing that he lives on the west side I suggested we meet on the west side at this really great wine bar called, Ardesia, which is on 52nd Street and 10th Avenue.

To be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to this date. Not because of anything that this man had said or done but it was me, between Bachelor # 1 and Bachelor #2 the idea of introducing a third bachelor to the mix, left me feeling like I needed an assistant to keep my day planner in check so I didn’t miss a thing and not that I was committed to any of these men and I certainly didn’t know what they were doing on their own free time but this was simply not how I want to live my life.

I ended up working late on Thursday and therefore it didn’t give me any time to “get ready” for my date. I made my way to the wine bar and my date was already waiting for me with a chair for me to sit next to him. I am sure like so many, the minute you see someone you immediately know that “This is not going to be Mr./Mrs. Right.” But of course, manners are very important to me and so I told myself “One glass of wine and you can go home.”  He was very nice and proceeded to tell me about himself and I listened, normally on first dates I am great at keeping conversation but after he confessed to me that he hadn’t been on a date in a really long time I decided to let him get his practice in and let him tell me all about himself.

As I sat there listening to him; my mind began to wonder and think about the other two bachelors and what they were up to. Try as I may it was rather difficult to listen to him until he mentioned his fascination with Wonder Woman. I perked up immediately and told him that ever since I was a kid I worshipped her as well. Just when I thought things were beginning to take a turn and I was having an “o.k.” time that is when he took the opportunity to reveal something about himself that I was not at all prepared for. The wine bar was rather loud that night and so when he asked me to lean in closer so he could tell me something I didn’t think twice in doing so.

And so I leaned in and he said to me, “I have the perfect mouth.” I wasn’t exactly sure if I heard him correctly and so I asked him to repeat himself and again he says to me, “I have the perfect mouth.” To which I replied with “You have the perfect mouth for what exactly?” And I swear, I cannot make this up but he said, “I have the perfect mouth to bite you with.” And from there he confessed that he has a vampire fetish.  That was my queue. I told him rather quickly that it was nice to meet him and that I should be going. I didn’t even finish my glass of wine, the man wanted to bite me on my neck right than and there in front of all the patrons. I didn’t even bother to look back to see his face as I left so abruptly. I immediately went home and showered, for some reason I felt dirty after the vampire confession.

Friday arrived and it was my second date with Bachelor #2. Our date was going to consist of a movie with the possibility of having a drink afterwards. As I got to the movie theatre there he was. Looking handsome and I think he was rather excited to see me again. The conversation was struggling right off the bat. I was so confused by what had happened between Wednesday and that night but I was working my ass off to keep the date above water. Luckily, the movie started and we didn’t have to force anything for two hours. During the movie I thought for sure that he was going to hold my hand and no such luck. He would look at me every now and again but I couldn’t tell from the expression on his face if it was because he couldn’t wait to get away from me or if he wanted to kiss me. Very confusing. Once the movie was over with we walked into the restaurant, Virage, over on Second Avenue.  This was the beginning of the end; the only thing we could talk about was what we were going to order. Once that was settled, we sat in silence and believe me, I would rather talk about lint from a belly button than sit in silence but we had run out of things to say to each other. I was exhausted from asking him a million questions but the last question is what really did me in. I asked him what he was doing on Sunday and he said he had no plans. That was when I suggested we should possibly try this brunch place in the East Village and he said, “Um, we’ll see.” Anyone knows what this means, it means, HELL NO. Much to my surprise after dinner he wanted to have another drink somewhere, so we went to a wine bar and there we sat in silence yet again. I tried to drink as fast as possible and once it was done, we paid the bill, he walked me to the subway, kissed me goodbye and said he would contact me later. I knew he was lying and that I would never hear from him again and as of now, my hunch was right and silence, disappeared. Houdini.

Saturday, I got up feeling a bit deflated and as I mentioned earlier I grabbed the frozen facial mask and did my best to jump-start my day. It worked like a charm; I did laundry, yoga and even began writing this entry. As I was writing I met a friend at Elmo for a late brunch and gave him the low-down on the past week.  After the late lunch I realized I didn’t have much time to get ready for my second date with Bachelor #1.  This date found me rather nervous with just a dash of excitement. I was nervous because of just a week ago I was so drunk and met him in a rather embarrassing fashion and excited because throughout the entire week we had communicated, I found myself smiling at each response I received from him.

So began the preparation for the date and I told him to not be a minute late or else there would be some sort of punishment for keeping me waiting. When I arrived at my favorite date spot, Lela Bar, there he was, tucked in the corner not wearing his glasses he normally wears and his eyes being even bluer than I remembered. We hugged and kissed hello and we agreed that we were both in the mood for bubbles. So began the bottle of bubbles and us getting to know each other. This is always my favorite part of dates, finding out about someone’s family, how long they have lived in New York, passions, thoughts, beliefs and just studying someone’s face. He was quite the gentlemen and even complimenting me on my smile and eyes. It was there that I paid him a compliment and told him how he is even more handsome than I remembered. As soon as the words left my mouth, I forgot all about the past week, all the up and down dates, work and the day-to-day stresses we all face. He did confess to me in passing that he does not have a desire for children. While he likes them he just doesn’t have a desire to have any of his own. Some might say it is far too early to have the conversation and I agree but it is never too early to learn about a person’s wants for the future.

After our bubbles ran dry we decided to find a close by bar to continue Date #2. On our journey to the next bar he told me that this date wasn’t about sex but it was an actual real date and no going back to his place, etc. As we entered the bar, Pieces, which is a place I never think to go, we ordered our cocktails, sat down and pretty much began making out as if we were teenagers in the back of the bleachers at the high school pep-rally. As we were kissing, I kept thinking how I didn’t want the date to end, I didn’t want to go back home and that I actually didn’t even really want to have sex but rather to go back to his big bed, get under the covers and get lost. And luckily for me, the Dating Gods were on my side and we both agreed that I would be going back home with him that night. We finished our drinks and of course, I was just drunk enough that I wanted pizza. Got my slices and tried to hail a cab and again, in his dashing manner he hailed us a gypsy cab and he told the driver his cross streets. We got back to his place, made out a bit more and fell asleep just as I was wanting.

Yesterday I woke up feeling happy and even relieved that I think I played my cards right. All I wanted was my morning coffee and to figure out my brunch plans with my crew. Just as last weekend, he needed to walk his dog and it was so gorgeous outside. I got us coffee and we again walked his dog in Madison Square Park. During which I figured out my brunch plans and he was also telling me about his Sunday plans with his friends. We kissed goodbye and left it rather open-ended on when we would be seeing each other next. I didn’t go into panic mode thinking about when we would see each other next, I felt confident that it would be soon and that was huge relief for me.

Met my friends for brunch at Balthazar, it amazes me how that place is still so crowded and still so damn delicious. We had an amazing time and much to my surprise I got text messages from the British reporter and it was so sweet so at the table that is where I gave the entire table the full run down of the date I just finished a few hours prior. After the “Drunch” it was than that we window shopped through Soho and somehow ended up at the Boom Boom Room drinking champagne, taking photos like tourists and again I was rather surprised to get a text message from the British man and so after a few messages the inevitable question presented itself and that is, “Do you want to come and meet my friends?” He was with his friend drinking in Hells Kitchen and it was all getting rather confusing on when/where to meet, etc. Finally after leaving the Boom Boom Room my friends were going to continue on and keeping the party going and I found myself asking the cross street of his apartment and got my ass over there pronto.

We met on the corner of 24th and Park Avenue where he was walking his dog and again kissed hello and even though it had only been several hours since we last seen each other I was glad I was there on that very corner. He suggested we get a bottle of something and so we went to his local wine bar and picked up a bottle of bubbles and went back to his apartment. There we relaxed on his couch, me with my protection armor all around me that consisted of a pillow covering my body, a magazine and a glass of bubbles in my hand. I felt so comfortable and we both knew we had to be up rather early so we agreed on no “funny business” and by ten o’clock, we were snuggled in bed and this time with an extra visitor…his dog. I found myself not minding that there was a dog in bed and just enjoyed the moment and fell fast asleep.

This morning, bright and early, we woke up, said our good mornings and I rushed home to get ready for work. Again, I left not wondering if he is going to contact me…he will. I am not worried about it at all but I can say that I am eagerly looking forward to seeing him next and learning more about him. And in this past week I learned something about myself, while the circus can be entertaining…I will simply leave the juggling act to the professionals.






1 Comment

  1. I’m happy to say that I ended reading this with a big grin on my face! Good luck with Bachelor #1 Alex!! I look forward to hearing more! 🙂

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